AMONG THE RICH

Will and I left this past Saturday to head to Greensboro, GA. Will was there covering ACC Media Days. They hold the conference at a different location every year. This year it was at the Reynold’s Plantation, Ritz-Carlton. Wow! It was very, very nice.

We were met at the door by men wearing knickers and knee socks who quickly got our luggage out of the car and herded us into the lobby. Will just loved their outfits. I may have to get him one.

It was really spectacular there. The service was out of this world. Every single employee spoke to us. And, they tried very hard to say our name, which ended up sounding like, “Vandervet”…but, they did try which I thought was great.

Once we got to our room, which looked like something out of a magazine, we decided to tour the grounds. On the property is Lake Oconee which is very nice and they also have an infinity pool. It looks as if it has no edge and appears to run right into the lake. I just thought it was the neatest thing.

After we toured, we decided to get dinner. We ended up at a restaurant on the property called Georgia’s. We paid for this meal ourselves, and it was overpriced for us, but we figured we may as well experience it.

When we sat down, there were white linen napkins in front of us. I went to put mine in my lap and the hostess quickly took it from me and put a navy napkin in my lap that she pulled out of the air. That blew my little mind.

As soon as she left, I asked Will why in the world I got a special napkin. He didn’t know, of course. So then I became nervous wondering if I was supposed to do something with this thing that I didn’t know about. After much thought, I finally determined that they replaced the white napkin with the dark one because I had on a brown dress and they didn’t want the white one to shed on me. That is the only theory I can come up with. If anyone else has any other ideas, let me know.

Once we got the menu, we realized that we didn’t know what half the stuff was on there. We told our server that we were “country come to town” and didn’t really know what to order. She was very nice and patient and explained everything to us. I ended up with filet mignon, squash, and very classy now…french fries! Will got duck and mashed potatoes.

I need to back up and tell y’all about the server assistant first. Before the main server came, a young Asian lady with a heavy accent informed us that she was our server assistant and asked if we wanted to start with sparkling water, distilled water, or tap water. Will, who is literally half deaf, yelled out, “I don’t like water! Don’t you have coke?” I told the poor lady that tap water would be fine.

I enjoyed my food greatly, but Will did not. The duck was too tough to eat and he wasn’t in the mood to complain. We looked at a dessert menu, but passed. I guess they felt sorry for us so they brought us two little truffles—one milk chocolate and one white chocolate. They were good.

That night we attended a hospitality event held by the ACC. There were a lot of “to-do’s” there and I stood by listening to Will talk about football. At one point, he was talking to one of the bowl president’s and I had no clue what they were talking about, so I was kind of out of it. When it was time to move on, I tried to shake the guy’s hand and tell him it was nice meeting him, but we somehow missed hands and did an air shake instead. It was pretty funny…and very awkward!

We mingled about some more and that’s when I noticed something….Will had a worm on his shirt….a WORM! I do not know how long it had been sitting there, but when I tried to get it off, it started doing that inch thing that worms do and it was doing ninety to nothing toward his collar. Of course, I found it funny, and couldn’t stop laughing. We eventually got it off and decided to head back to the room.

On our way, we noticed a jazz band playing in the lobby. They had a lady singing and she was pretty good. We decided to sit and listen a while and watch the people go by. A large crowd of….um….yuppies walked by. They had that special tone to their voice that some rich people use, the men had their collars up like they were Elvis and they just had an arrogance about them. People that think they are better than those around them are a pet peeve of mine. Well, I noticed that one of them had a very large nose, but I didn’t say anything at the time. They didn’t stay long and we didn’t think anything else of them.

Well, about 20 minutes later, the entire group came back by, but one was missing. So, I leaned over to Will and said, “I wonder where big nose is.” Again, Will can’t hear and the music was loud, so he yelled out, “Big nose?!” Right then, I promise you, Big Nose himself walked right by us and I yelled back, “There he is!” The guy was oblivious to our conversation, thank goodness. It was funny. You had to be there.

Once we got back to our room, we decided to sit out on our patio. In front of the patio was a little patch of ivy or some kind of plant. In order to get off the patio, the ivy had to be jumped. At one point, I wanted to see a building that was several hundred feet away so I vaulted on over. When Will saw this, he said very seriously, “That is just great Cindy. Getting in those bushes. Now you are going to have bed bugs.” I’m not sure if he was trying to say red bugs or what, but it was truly funny.

We finally turned in. One of the things I love most about fancy hotels is turn down service. I just think it is the cutest thing for your bed covers to be pulled back for you. They also left chocolate, a flower, and a bottle of water every night. I asked Will when we got home when he was going to do our turn down service. He said he’d get right on that.

The next couple of days went by quickly as Will stayed very busy with work. I mostly hung out by the pool. It was a hard life. The only thing I didn’t get to do was swim in that lake. I really wanted to.

Overall, we had a great time. If you are ever in Greensboro, I highly recommend this place. Hopefully, Will and I can visit the resort again during their off season…after we sell a kidney.

MONKEY MUNCH

Any Jon & Kate plus 8 fans out there? I wouldn't really call myself a fan, but I do watch it from time to time. On a recent episode, Kate made Monkey Munch. I couldn't stop thinking about that stuff so I found the recipe online, made it today, and took a picture of it for you. It makes a ton so I will give my neighbor half of it. When my little monkeys (aka my nieces) come to visit, I will let them make it, which I know they will love. Enjoy!

9 cup Chex
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cup powdered sugar

Put cereal in large bowl.

Melt chocolate chips, peanut butter, and butter in microwave.

Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. (Don't forget the vanilla like I did!)

Pour over Chex cereal, put into a large plastic bag (use a 2 gallon bag if you have one) with powdered sugar and shake well to coat.

Spread mixture evenly on wax paper and allow to cool.

SHE-MAN

Today, I decided to mow. Will and I usually do it as a team, but he had to play golf today. Just kidding. Will has never been the lazy type at all. We have always shared responsibilities from washing clothes to cooking. The only things he tries to get out of are unloading the dishwasher, cleaning toilets, and mopping. He hates to do those, but that is fine because I hate to put laundry away and sweep. It all balances out.

Anyway, back to mowing. Will did go golfing with some kind of media event that they have every year. I did a few errands after he left and then felt bored. I actually enjoy mowing for whatever reason and didn’t have anything else to do, so I headed out. The heat kind of took my breath away at first because it feels like it is 150 degrees outside today.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that Will has a touch of OCD. I didn’t mention that I do too about some things. One of those things is grass patterns. I do not know why, but it drives me batty if my mowing pattern gets off. I will literally mow over parts that I have already mowed in order to get back on my little pattern if I get off course. It’s crazy. I know it is.

Wait, hold everything. I just thought about something totally off the topic of mowing, but it is on the topic of OCD. Ok, so remember when I also mentioned in an earlier blog that Will doesn’t like ice? Well, a couple of weeks ago, a waiter brought a pitcher of ice to the table and started pouring it into Will’s tea. Will just about had a stroke. I’m not even kidding. He scared the poor kid half to death waving his hands around, saying, “no, no, no!” Well, we ate out the next day too because we were traveling and we got some tea to go. When we got in the car, he looked at me and then pushed down the little button that says “other” on the lid and informed me that meant it was the one with no ice and that one was his. He was traumatized from the night before and wasn’t taking any chances. I snapped the above picture to remember it, because I found it very funny. He is crazy as a loon, for real.

Sorry, back to today….I used the riding lawnmower for the majority of the yard, and here’s a little secret…I have no earthly idea how that thing works! I usually just push buttons and levers until something happens. At one point, I got stuck because Will has only told me 10,000 times not to go over that part and apparently I need to be told 10,001 times. Once I was stuck, the lawnmower just shut down.

I assessed the situation. I cranked it back up, let off the brake, and down it went again. This went on for several minutes, until I finally realized that the gear was in reverse and it won’t move if the blade is down while the mower is in reverse. I pretended like I knew that all along and continued on.

Once I was done with all I could do riding, I drug the push mower out. I love to crank it up because it makes me feel all powerful and stuff. I was also pretty impressed with myself that I remembered to push the little button thingy on the front 3 times in order to prime it. I hoped all the neighbors were watching since I got it cranked with one pull. Tawanda! (Remember, from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes?)

I actually got stuck with the pushmower once too though. It just stopped and tons of orange dirt…clay….was flying all around me. I felt like Pigpen off of Charlie Brown. I really thought it was on fire for a minute, but turns out I just ran over a clay clump. I was wondering why it was making such loud noises. I bet y’all don’t know this. You aren’t supposed to run over rocks or clay clumps. You have to be a professional lawn mower, like me, to know these kinds of things. Will taught me the rules. But, what Will doesn’t know wont hurt him, now will it?

As I mowed, I noticed several cigarette butts in various places around the yard. I could feel my blood pressure rising about this. I mean, who do these people think they are? I just can not believe the nerve. For one thing, SC is in one of the worst droughts in its history which means fires happen readily, and for another, why are they throwing trash in my yard?!

I got madder and madder about it and started glaring at all my neighbor’s houses trying to figure out who was doing this. I have decided that I will be watching each car that drives by here and I will follow anyone I see throwing anything in my yard to their house and we will have a little chat. They better be scared too, because I am a Nelson and pms week is coming up. Nelson+PMS=baaaaad.

Anyway, I felt quite an accomplishment once the yard was finished. I also found a new job…cigarette butt litterer watcher/hurter of cigarette butt litterer. It’s a dual role. It took me a long time to come up with that new job title. I am glad that it sounds so professional and official.

WILLIS TALKING!

I finally figured out how to post some video of Willis talking!

If he sees equipment, such as a tape recorder or camera, he just stares at it. On the video, you will hear me whispering that I am standing in the hall hiding from him. You will notice if I point the camera at his cage, he will stop talking. I can't remember everything he says, but he sings I believe I can fly, Twinkle Twinkle, 12345 days, Well Willis, going to Wal-Mart, peek-a-boo, I see you, what doin', tickle, tickle, tickle, wanna go see Will, etc.

Leave me a comment if you are able to see/hear this and whether or not you have any problems so I will know if it is ok to post more. Your comment wont actually post to the screen until I log into my account and release it. I'll try to get him used to the camera now that I know how to do it so you can see him up close. Oh, and one more thing, I had to hit the little play arrow twice to get it to work.

WILLIS TALKING! (con't)

PRETTY MEMORIES

The post below reminded me of when my sister, Kelli, and I went to Orlando in 2001. It was just the two of us and we were there to go to Disney World, of course. I believe we stayed about four days. We had a good time, but did have one bad experience.

We headed for Orlando around 8 in the morning and once we arrived we decided to get some lunch before checking into our hotel. We didn’t have any particular place in mind and we were just kind of riding around looking for something. We came upon Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck BBQ Restaurant and decided that--a) we both liked BBQ and b) we were both rednecks--so we went on in.

We just loved the food. The whole time we were eating, we kept commenting about how good it was. We ate pulled pork. Feeling stuffed, we headed to our hotel. While we were waiting in line to check in, sounds started happening. Very loud rumblings.

We looked at each other and almost simultaneously said, “My stomach doesn’t feel right.” I wasn’t overly concerned at this point because we had just eaten a big meal and thought we probably ate too much.

Concern turned to panic by the time we reached the room because we were literally knocking each other down trying to get to the bathroom! People, it was not pretty. It was BAD! Remember the scene in Dumb and Dumber? That is exactly what it was like. For those that haven’t seen that movie, think of sounds like firecrackers and 5 gallon buckets of water being poured off a building. It was terrible. It was one of the sickest times of my life.

We each felt guilty while the other one was waiting to use the one bathroom, because waiting was pure torture. I remember sitting on the toilet while opening the door to yell at Kelli on the bed to see if she was still alive while she was waiting her turn. We took turns like this for an hour straight. We apparently had a touch of food poison. It got so bad that I contemplated calling someone to take us to the hospital, but we toughed it out.

Once we were drained of all bodily fluids, Kelli decided she wanted to call home and check on my niece, Kaitlyn, who was still a baby at the time. Neither one of us had a cell phone and the room phone wouldn’t work right. We were able to get the front desk on the line and they said they would send someone down to check it out.

After I hung up, I realized that someone was getting ready to walk into a room that…well… it sure enough didn’t smell like roses, ok? Too late. The guy knocked on the door and we let him in. There we sat, looking pretty as you please, while this poor guy had to work on our phone. The whole time, Kelli and I were looking at each other about to die laughing. He eventually decided that he couldn’t fix it, although he didn’t try very long, and they moved us to another room.

We were glad too, because someone stank up the bathroom bad in the first room and we didn’t appreciate it.

LOVE

Since Will and I don’t see each other much, we often communicate by e-mail. We write each other some really sweet and meaningful things. It’s very romantic. I’ll share a recent e-mail with you. Try not to cry.

Cindy....yahoo....wrote:

Will, I Saw this on the 'net..did you write it?

Why does slimfast give you explosive poop?Usually when I have a shake for breakfast and one for lunch, I'm ready to evacuate my bowels by 3pm. It's the first thing I do when I get home because I've been holding it in all afternoon. Then I have to scrub the toilet afterwards because it looks like a poop shotgun just went off in my bowl!

Will...daily...wrote:

You’re not right in the head!

DOWN HOME

Will and I recently traveled back to my home town of Hilliard for a family reunion. We stayed with my parents in Fernandina and made the trip to Hilliard on Saturday. Traveling that back road from Fernandina to Hilliard always brings back lots of memories. I remember taking driver’s ed classes on that road and scaring Mr. Turvey to death. I remember laying in the back of Daddy’s truck with my cousins and friends, while traveling to the beach, and singing “Islands in the Stream” at the top of our lungs.

We passed the air traffic control center which hasn’t changed a bit, and took a right shortly thereafter to visit my grandparents (The Chapman’s) first. Their house looks exactly the same and I love to go there. It has most of the same furniture, pictures….even refrigerator magnets. It is comforting to sit as a family in the living room where we have sat many times to catch up.

My youngest niece rocked in a rocking chair that belonged to my grandmother as a child, while Will showed my other two nieces all the pictures of our family that my grandparents have collected over the years. They are displayed on their wall in the den and most have been there for decades.

After we left my grandparents, we went up to the red light and took a right by Flash Foods. I remembered that I used to think Flash Foods was so named because our school mascot was the Flashes. Will got a good laugh about that one.

It’s strange how most things in Hilliard haven’t changed…a good thing. But, while we were traveling down Andrews Road, I did comment to Will that I remembered when that was a dirt road. I vividly remember flying into the ditch one day on my way to school and I very much remember not being able to get out. I also remember getting a little lecture from Mrs. Copps about it. I deserved it.

We took a right off of Andrew’s and headed to my aunt’s. My aunt and uncle have lived on the same piece of land forever and a day. We have had many get togethers out there in those woods. Talking about the good ‘ol days was great.

My cousin, Kristy and I, like to talk about the time we crawled out of a window in her trailer in the middle of the night and snuck out to her pond for a swim that was cut short by our fear of snakes. To get out of the window was difficult as we had quite a drop to the ground. We have often wondered why we didn’t just use the front door!

I love to hear all of the old stories from our family’s past and I always learn something new when we get together. I learned that Mama could tie a cherry stem into a knot with her teeth as a teenager. I learned that one of the older family members used to throw firecrackers in his house just for laughs. And, I learned that my Grandfather Nelson used to make the best sweet tea in the South. I wish I could ask him for the recipe.

The family has grown. As a few of us stood in the yard talking, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that all of the kids were running around laughing together. The next generation…I laughed as I remembered myself and all of us cousins at that age. I could see our faces in theirs and wished for a second that we were all that young again.

Even though everyone lives all over the place, gas is too high, and it takes an act of congress for everyone to get off work at once, we all know that there will be other get togethers and we’ll look forward to when we meet up again…down home.

LAZY DAY

Bad news about the AC--it has a major leak. The final quote to fix it is $1205. I guess that is one of the disadvantages to owning a home...can't call the landlord! We are going to ask around to see what other people with the same problem have paid before we make a decision. It's sad, but you just never can tell if people are trying to pull one over on ya. The repairman put enough freon in to last a few months, so he said.

Before lunch today, I took a long walk in the sun with Justin Timberlake blaring in my ears, because he is helping me "bring sexy back." Ha! When I got home, I walked around my yard collecting blackberries from various bushes. They are small, but they are good. It looks like we will get plenty more before the summer is over. I added them to some strawberries that I bought from the store for a perfect little treat. I always feel like a kid again when I get to pick blackberries right off the vine. These blackberries are smaller than the ones from my youth, but getting stuck by the briars feels the same!

As you can tell, I love summertime fruits and vegetables. We've been getting our daily servings in for sure, but don't tell Will that he is eating healthy. I try to keep that on the down low. Today, I snuck some boiled zuchinni into our baked chicken and onions and he didn't even notice. Maybe we will get his cholesterol and my blood pressure down yet.

I've been spinning every day and I have really enjoyed it. Oh, and I also pulled a muscle in my back trying to do a push-up! (Dwayne, If you are reading this, I know you are laughing at me right now.) I've been doing some light strength training, which I also enjoy. I am going to have to get back into the gym soon though, because I enjoy group exercise more.

Willie and I are getting ready to go for a little walk before dinner. The weather has been nice today--not too hot.

PS--For those who don't know, Will's family calls him Willie. When I met him though, he introduced himself as Will. Some people think I changed his name to Will, but why would I have cared if his name was Willie??? To make things even more confusing, my grandmother named our parrot Willis, but sometimes she called him Willie, and Willis calls himself Will-Will quite a bit. People always ask us if we named the parrot after Will, which I find hilarious.