DRUMROLL PLEASE...

I'm pregnant!




Phew. Glad that announcement is over with.

I'll just sit back now and give you time to let it sink in.

All the little birds on jay bird street...love to hear the robins going tweet, tweet, tweet!

Just singing a little song to pass the time. You ok? Ok, me too. Moving forward.

You want to know who the father is, I bet. Or, maybe how far along I am. Or, if I am kidding. Let's start from the top...

I have wanted a child since I was 20 years old. That, my friends, is a LOT of years of trying. A lot of years of crying. Many, many, many, many tears. But, now, my prayers have been answered and this is all surreal. I'm still not sure if I'm dreaming.

I will be 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow. The due date is 10/13/2012. This is me at 8 weeks.




Yes, I look like I'm 3 months. We questioned twins, but only saw one little heartbeat at our first ultrasound.

Here's the father. C'mon down Cliff! You are the next contestant.... Wait. Focus.







Ok, so this is Cliff, with me of course. His mother is Korean. Therefore, I will be having a little Asian child, which I feel right now is a girl. He and I were great friends in high school, went many years without keeping in touch, and then BOOM...we collided again. At full force, I'd say. Now, if you would've told Cliff and I, while sitting in Mrs. Jaegar's 12th grade class, that we would one day be having a baby together we would have LAUGHED. HARD! We are both still a bit perplexed over these unusual circumstances. Perplexed, but HAPPY!

Cliff has a son named Landen. Here's a picture of the little man. He lives with us.




Landen is 8 years old and wide open. He is super smart. He always makes the A/B honor roll. I told him last night that he was going to Harvard. He said he didn't want to go to the sea. I said, excuse me? He said, you said harbour! He is very excited about being a big brother. His only complaint is that he does not want to wait months for the baby to be born. He wants the baby here NOW. Ah Landen, me too. Me too.

Back to the beginning of the pregnancy...many tears were shed, because I had some bleeding off and on. I was put on progesterone (still on it). We had an ultrasound, which I fully expected to show absolutely nothing. In my mind, there was no pregnancy and my initial joy was silly. So, after over an hour wait in the waiting room, I was shuffled back for an ultrasound. After what seemed like forever, the tech said, "I think I see a heartbeat." I went still. Very still. And very silent. What? No way. She's crazy, I thought. She went out to the waiting room to get Cliff while I sat there confused and staring up at hundreds of baby pictures...babies born to the practice. As soon as she got Cliff in his viewing seat, she resumed the ultrasound and there it was....a tiny bean, with a heart beating a million times a minute.




I'm trying hard to describe the feeling of seeing that little heartbeat. It's simply not possible. It took my breath away. I could NOT breathe. You mean me, Cindy, is having a baby? Noooooo. Seriously? Psh. Crazy. I had already resigned myself to never having a child of my own. I dealt with all the years of infertility treatment, hearing friends and families announce their pregnancies, seeing them have their babies, dealing with stupid, stupid advice such as "just relax and it will happen." That Cindy could not possibly be having a baby!

But, yes. Yes, I am. Here I sit with all out morning sickness. People, I have been sick since conception. I was sick before I knew I was pregnant. I am on Zofran AND Phenergan. I am still sick. Am I complaining? NO! I am not. I look at the sickness as proof that the baby is alive and well. My only complaint is that I have to work sick. Yeah, it sounds petty. But, to me, it's torture. Running the hospital floors for 13 hours, while nauseated to no end. It's bad. My hope is that all of this sickness will magically disappear at 12 weeks. Ha!

Stay tuned...I hope to use this blog as a way to document this pregnancy and the happenings of our unique family.

FUN

A very late response to a post I was tagged in by Mike Bonfanti, husband of our own Becky Bandy, for you Hilliard folks. Both Mike and Becky have very good blogs, and they tend to theirs more often than my poor, pitiful, neglected blog. Check Mike's blog out at blackcoffeeandborboun.wordpress.com and Becky's out at magnoliablossom.wordpress.com

Here are the rules:

1.Post these rules.
2.You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3.Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

**I altered the rules a bit. They called for me to tag 11 other bloggers. Unfortunately, I don't know 11 other bloggers. So, if you are reading this and have been thinking about blogging, get to it! Let me know, so I can add you to the links on my page.**

11 random things about myself:

1.I love menus. All menus. Even if I don't like anything on them, I like to read the entire thing from top to bottom.

2.I once told someone to shoot me in the back with a BB gun so I could see if it hurt. He did. And it did.

3.My hidden talent is my typing speed. I've always wanted to learn to play the piano, because I think if I can type, I could play.

4.I love watermelon and boiled peanuts and eat both until my stomach hurts.

5.I'm a girly girl. I love the color pink, ruffles, pearls, bows...

6.I despise things in clusters. All things. Worms, birds, fish....ew.

7.I own a parrot, who is smarter than a lot of humans.

8.My least favorite thing to do is get up in the mornings. My alarm clock is my worst enemy. HATE it!

9.Once I quit a job being a walking Juniors sales department model at JCPenny to work at McDonald's because I couldn't stand the bordeom of doing nothing all day.

10.I wish I could travel more. If I were rich, I would travel the world.

11.I'm a control freak. I like things done in certain orders. My life has taught me that I am most certainly not in control.

Questions Mike formulated for me to answer:

1.Paper, plastic or recyclable hippie tote? plastic

2.What’s the farthest place you’ve visited from your home? Mexico

3.What is the most amazing thing you’ve ever eaten? When I was a kid, I ate some homemade pasta made by the mother of a friend. I've never forgotten it.

4.If you had to take someone one place in your home town, where would you bring them, and why? The St. Mary's River. Because it's a large part of Hilliard.

5.Where do broken hearts go? To the filing cabinet in the back of your brain, where they periodacally try to resurface.

6.Do you squeeze from the bottom or the middle of the tube of toothpaste? Middle

7.Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

8.Android, iPhone, Blackberry or other? iPhone

9.Softscrub or Formula 409? 409

10.How many times can you wear a pair of jeans before washing them? Twice

11.Have you ever made a recipe you watched someone cook on the Food Network? No

And there you have it. :-)

CHURCH WITH GRANDADDY

As a child, Sunday's entailed going to church and then to Magranny and Grandaddy's to eat Sunday lunch. I was a picky child. Magranny spoiled me. Guess what she made for me every Sunday? Boiled chicken and peas of some sort. I love both, even to this day. I would gladly give the chocolate pudding she made for each of us grand kids aside for another helping of her peas.

After lunch, the cousins would play in the yard, while the men would retire to the den and the ladies would wear aprons and clean the kitchen. My grandmother made the dresses Kelli and I wore to church. She would find a pattern, measure us, and we'd have new dresses in no time. As a teenager, she patiently tried to teach me to sew a button. I still can't.

In church, I remember proudly watching my grandparents sing in the choir. I thought that was something else. As a young adult, they continued that tradition and stayed diligently devoted to their church. Brother Bobby, who was the preacher at the time, said he thought of Grandaddy as his brother. Those words were spoken at Magranny's funeral.

Grandaddy is humble. He wont be thrilled to see that I've written a blog about him, but he is a hero of mine. He always has been and always will be. If I try to think of how I should live my life, his example always, always comes to mind.

I decided to surprise him at church this past Sunday. As I waited for him to get out of Sunday School, I started asking around about where he sat. I went to familiar faces and asked, "Where is Grandaddy? Where does he sit?" Everyone knew and EVERYONE had something magnificent to say about him. I met new people and heard more of the same. I can't be any prouder of a grand-daughter than I am. I love telling people that he's my grandfather and I love hearing how he has touched so many lives.

During church, I kept thinking about how he would like to have Magranny sitting to his left. I miss her too and I wish she was here. That's selfish, because I know she is running the streets of gold right now. Her service to those who needed it couldn't be fully explained. She was simply amazing.

After church, we had a meal at Wendy's. Wendy's was a favorite hangout for my grandparents. I'm just not sure I could have been any happier sitting across from him for that meal. I know that Magranny was smiling down on us.

SOUL SUCKERS

Hi! No excuses as to why I haven't posted since.....well....yeah. Let's just move along to 2012, shall we?

Today is the first day of the year. New beginnings. I saw this quote on someone's Facebook page. I like it. "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." Edith Lovejoy Pierce

A fresh start. A rebirth. A clean slate. Resolutions. While I'm not a fan of resolutions, I do enjoy the thought process that goes into them. One life on Earth. One chance. That's it. That is a huge deal. Huge.

As a nurse, I hear regrets of patient's as they lie near death. I also hear triumphs and successes. They are equally painful to me. However, some patient's choose to discuss funny memories. There is nothing more heart warming than walking into a room of a very sick patient and hearing them laugh. Their laughter is better than any medicine or treatment I could provide. Period.

I would like to continue to find the humor in life for 2012. I would like to focus on the positive and not be such an absolute pessimist. (I'm a bad one.) I would like to do away with "soul suckers" as I call them. People who choose to focus on bringing others down instead of looking at themselves in the mirror. Judgemental people. They are the worst. I had a couple of people severely judge me in 2011. Severely.

At a time, when my life could not have been any harder, I was judged by other imperfect humans. I've cried many tears over it. As I look back, I shouldn't have cried. They were wasted on something unimportant. I wanted to call them out for their many faults. But, then, wouldn't I have also been labeled judgemental? Yes, of course. I challenge all of us to view these type of people as those who need help, more than even we do. I also challenge all of us not to judge. It's hard. But, let's try.

I would like to find the good in people, no matter what. I would like to judge a book by its contents and not its cover. Most of all, I would like to keep laughing.

Humor. It keeps the spirit alive. Finding out the things that really mattter, and letting go of the petty things. Important. Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Important. It is quite unimportant, to me, at the age of 37 to care, even a little bit, about what "soul suckers" feel is "right". It is a HUGE waste of my time.

On my deathbed, I do not want to discuss what he thought or she thought or what he said or what she said. I want to laugh about funny, meaningful memories. I have amazing friends that I have chosen to surround myself with. I have an amazing family. What more could a person need?

Happy New Year! Here's to many laughs in the year 2012!!!

WILD GIRL

Well, I showed my wild side today and got a second hole put in my ear. I know, I know. It's hard to believe. I am usually so sweet and innocent. Sarcasm aside, my Daddy will think this is a tragedy. He barely let my sister and I get one piercing when we were kids, and he will not be happy about this little addition. The thing is, we just aren't going to tell him. Maybe he will notice, maybe he wont.

I wasn't worried about the pain so much, as I was the sterilization process. I wanted to know how the instruments were cleaned, how my ear would be cleaned, etc. I had a LOT of questions. Imagine that.

After I was sure, I would not contract typhoid fever, I sat in the chair. Back up, I did have a small MI after I was told how much I would have to pay for the earrings. "Because they are sterile." Um, you got some peroxide or some alcohol and we can use these $12 ones. Ok, ok, here's your money. "But, the piercing process is free with the purchase of the earrings." Trust me darlin', there is nothing free happening in this transaction.

Where was I? Oh yeah, in the chair. She didn't give a girl a warning, which is probably a smart thing. Punch, punch. Ow, ow. All done. No sucker, no sticker, nothing.

Oh well, I still feel like a big girl now.

BACK IN THE SADDLE

Hello! Long time, no write to. I am indeed alive and well. I hope you are too.

I have recently joined a gym. I’ve been dying to get back into a spin class. I’m really enjoying it. I had a new instructor Thursday night.

This particular instructor likes to take popular songs, such as “You Shook Me All Night Long” and somehow increase the speed of the song 10 fold. When you’re dripping sweat from every pore in your body, it really just kind of makes you want to jump off your bike and tackle her! And she makes up her own words, and belts them out. It’s just annoying. For example, “…knocking me out with those spinning thighs.” It’s really hard to glare while sweat is filling your eyeballs though.

Another thing she does is shake her finger at you and say, “no, no, no” if you try to adjust your resistance downward. I’ve never been one to appreciate someone pointing their finger at me, much less shaking it at me.

She shook her finger Thursday night, and I thought, “That is it! I’m gonna hurt you!” Right after that, I threw up a little bit in my mouth and said, “Never mind. Continue your butt kicking.” Twenty minutes later, the girl beside me started dry heaving. I was trying to yell over the music, “ARE YOU GOING TO THROW UP?!?!” See, I was pinned between her and the wall and I would have been trapped. She started shaking her head that she was NOT going to throw up and she pushed through. Phew.

I’m looking forward to continuing the class and encountering the adventures to come. Just pray that I don’t throw up or pass out. Or fall, while I’m trying to get off the bike.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY