Today, we took Willis to the vet to have his wings and toenails clipped. When we walked into the waiting room, he started laughing loudly and then said, “Ooooooohhhhhh” and then his usual, “Hey Willis.” Then, he informed everyone in the waiting room, “I am a pretty bird.” I’m not making this stuff up, I promise. I have witnesses. While he waited, he sat in front of the receptionist and stared a hole through her. Every time the phone rang or she picked something up, he cocked his head and just found it all very interesting. Will and I sat back and laughed at him.
They came and took him to the back while Will and I waited because they don’t let us watch the clipping. It is very traumatic for Willis. They have to hold him down and stuff and sometimes we can hear him yelling and it is just no good at all.
While we were waiting, this lady came out of the back who was about 96, I’d say. She was carrying a puppy and had a wrist brace on. Ok, so the lady takes the puppy to this little counter so she could write a check. 96 year old lady, wrist brace, writing a check, tiny counter=puppy is going to fall on the floor.
Will decided to offer to hold the puppy for her after we had a heart attack watching it slip and slide on the counter. Well, apparently that was her cue to start telling everyone her life story. So, Will just stood there holding the puppy while she went on and on and on. He didn’t know what to do because the puppy started crying because it wanted to leave. He was trying to rock it and everything and it was just funny….you had to be there.
Next, in comes a lady with a canary. She was about 90. Y’all think I am making this up, I’m not. Of course, I have to go see the bird and talk to it and the first thing she tells me is that it only has one leg. She said that the leg had to be amputated yesterday, but it was doing fine. I was like, oh no, how horrible. I just felt so bad for this bird. Here comes the funny part…I asked her what its name was and she said it didn’t have one and would I give it one! I was like, well, ummmm….and I was trying to think of anything but the obvious because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Leave it to Will to shout out “Stumpy!” The lady just kind of looked at him and I was laughing….hard. Poor little bird…
The lady eventually said she didn’t want to give the bird a “complex” so she wasn’t sure what she would name it yet. Then I asked her how old the bird was and she said, “Celery, apples, and grapes.” I was like “Oh, that is very interesting.” Obviously, she couldn’t hear. I tried again louder—“How old is your bird?” Her response—“He loves to whistle.” I could see Will out of the corner of my eye laughing. Poor lady…and poor bird!
Back to Willis—I had noticed this morning that he was guarding his left foot a little like it was hurting him. After they brought him back out, he was really holding it funny. He was past due for his annual exam so I asked if the vet could go ahead and see him today.
They agreed and took all 3 of us back to a room. Well, in walks this lady, with the vet, holding a towel. She threw it over Willis, and he hates towels to no end, grabbed him around the throat with one hand and held his feet together with the other. I tried to be calm. I really tried. The vet was examining him while he was in a literal choke-hold.
At one point, I noticed that I had stood up. I didn’t even realize it. Willis was having an absolute panic attack and I was about to freak out. In the meantime, the vet was feeling his abdomen, looking in his ears, etc. Apparently, I started easing closer and closer to them because Will was getting ready to put his arm out to stop me. Unbeknownst to the vet and the tech, I was getting ready to grab my bird out of their hands and leave the building.
Then, I started crying…yes crying! I couldn’t help it. They were torturing him! He didn’t want to be held down. He’s just a little baby parrot…poor little thing. Well, I guess they sensed that I was getting ready to throw a “Southern Girl Fit” because the vet asked if we wanted them to go to another room to draw the blood, that they weren’t hurting him, that is how birds have to be held….WHATEVER!
Ok, so they left and did who knows what to him. The whole time, I was drilling Will with questions, “What do you think they are doing to him? Why is it taking them so long? Can’t you just go through those doors, peek in, and see what exactly they are doing to him?” I was like a crazy person sitting in there.
Outside the door, we heard the vet ask the tech what his weight was. He told her and we heard her exclaim, “You have got to be kidding me!” I was like, “What in the world? He is not fat!”
Fast forward….Willis is brought back in. His feathers are ruffled everywhere and he is just pitiful, pitiful, pitiful. He is sitting there glaring at me like I did all this.
The first thing the vet told us is that his foot was sprained and that is why he was guarding it. She said it isn’t anything major and he probably just hurt it on a toy and she gave him a shot of aspirin. I am supposed to give him some aspirin by mouth tomorrow and then if he is still acting weird with it, she is going to mail us some medicine.
By the way, the medicine is in a syringe and Will informed me in the car that we were supposed to inject it in his foot. He is such a nut! Trust me people, this syringe has no needle in it.
Then she told us that they had a hard time finding his jugular vein because he is “chubby.” I found this a little offensive. I mean, again, he is just a little baby parrot….poor little thing. She said he was “significantly” overweight and we need to stop giving him so many parrot pellets and give him more fruits and vegetables. He isn’t going to be happy about this, but we shall try.
For the past 6 months, Willis has been attracted to his toys….I mean VERY attracted to them. So, I told the vet about it. I said, “I don’t know how else to say this, but he is getting very friendly with his toys and making all kinds of sex noises.” Well, I would give a limb to see the look on Will’s face again. I was like, “What?!” I had to ask because it drives me insane when he does it and he goes from being, “just a baby parrot…poor little thing” to “nasty, disgusting parrot…have some dignity.”
Well anyway, the vet laughed and said that she is having the exact same problem with her cockatiel and she is going to give it some Lupron because it is embarrassing her in front of her friends. She said it is normal and happens about 6 months out of the year during their “hormonal phase.”
As most of you know, we don’t know if Willis is male or female. The only way to tell on birds is to have their blood typed. So, I asked her if he/she was going to lay an egg, what age would it be. She said 6. He is 4 now. Then she told us this horrible story about another parrot.
The parrot came in for an exam, the owner mentioned that it was doing the “hormonal” thing, the vet explained why, but apparently the lady didn’t want the bird to take Lupron. The very next week, it tried to lay an egg so large that it literally ruptured her insides and the bird died. And yes, I cried during this story.
She said that we really needed to go ahead and find out Willis’s sex so she could treat him with Lupron if he turns out to be a she so there would be less chance of him/her laying an egg.
So….his blood has been sent to CA for DNA testing. We will find out in 14 days if he is a boy or a girl. I don’t know how I will handle it, if he turns out to be a she. I really don’t. His/her name will still be Willis…I do know that.
Ok, well just wanted to share my day. Raise your hand if you learned something new about birds. I will post the results of his DNA test once we get them. Keep your fingers crossed….boy, boy, boy.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
POSSUMS AND POPCORN
Monday night, Will and I went and saw The Bucket List. If you haven’t seen it, you need to. It’s a great movie with a great message.
Ok, back up…first I need to tell you that Will has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Don’t worry about him being embarrassed that I told you this because he is in absolute DENIAL! He has never talked to a doctor about it, but I am telling y’all…he definitely has it! The things he does…that is a whole separate blog in and of itself.
We made it to the theater last night with about 15 minutes to go before the movie. Will thinks it is an absolute sin not to get the biggest popcorn and the biggest drink possible at the movies. Oh, and he can not have ANY ice in his drinks so we always have to discuss this with every cashier. Will: “I want coke, no ice.” Cashier: “But, the coke is warm. Don’t you want just a little ice?” Will: “I do not want ANY ice.” Cashier: Ooookaaaayyyy? (cashier gives look that says, “this guy is a weirdo” and then I always confirm it to him/her verbally).
We made it through all this and then it was receipt and change time. People, this is a huge deal to Will. He will not, under any circumstances, walk away from the counter until his receipt and change have been put away in an organized manner in his wallet. He just will not do it. I was like, “Will, can you do that in the movie? It is about to start.” Will: “No, I’ve almost got it done…just let me make sure all the president’s heads are facing the same way and the bills are in order from smallest to largest. Then, I need to place the receipts in such a way that they can be folded neatly.” Aaaaargggghhh!!!!
Made it into the movie….tried to sit down…kept being met with some resistance that would bump me back up. Finally realized that it was Will doing his “pre-sit dance”. This involves moving his wallet to each pocket to see which feels the best, then the keys to each pocket, then pulls the bottom of his jeans down and his socks up 3 times each and then does this little butt shaking thing which I think is his attempt to be sure his underwear is not up his rear.
So each time I would go to sit, he would bump my hip during this ritual and I would pop back up. Finally, exasperated, I yelled out, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He yelled back, “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’M TRYING TO SIT DOWN!” I was like, “I AM THE ONE TRYING TO SIT DOWN AND YOU ARE CRAZY AS ALL GET OUT! NOW MOVE!”
Sat down finally and both of us gave the other an eye roll and commenced to eating the popcorn. I always beg Will to let us each get our own small bag of popcorn because I can not stand to share popcorn with him. But no, he has to get the biggest 5 gallon bucket of popcorn they have and we always, always, always throw more than half of it in the trash.
When he eats popcorn, his eating hand does not stay still more than half a second…bag, mouth, bag, mouth. I don’t know how he breathes! So he starts digging into the popcorn and I am like, “Slow down! There is plenty.” He wants to know what I am talking about so I do a demonstration. The problem is that I am a slow eater so my attempts to eat like he does left me with popcorn all over my shirt after it fell out of my mouth and now he was telling me that I was the crazy one.
We commenced to eating popcorn again and then he just started hysterically laughing. I’m talking, tears, can’t breathe, turning blue, kind of laughing. I was like, “Have you finally lost what was left of your mind? What is wrong with you?!” All he could do was laugh in response so I told him, “Move down a few seats. I don’t want people thinking I am with you! They are going to think you are on drugs!” There were only 6 other people in the theatre so they could hear everything we were saying. I’m sure they thought we were both on drugs.
He finally caught his breath and told me that he was laughing because from the time we walked in we were acting as if we were Doug and Carrie from King of Queens. So, then he got me laughing and that was it.
I guess I leaned my head back without meaning to. When I did, I noticed that there were two HUGE holes right above our heads. Then, I got it in my mind that either roaches, rats, or possums were going to fall on our heads as soon as the lights went out. Yes…possums…who hasn’t heard my possum story?
You gotta hear it….about 5 years ago, Will and I lived in a rental house. The master bedroom had a bathroom in it that was not finished. We kept the door to it shut and used it as a storage room. One night, both of us fell asleep and then heard a huge crash in that room. Being the scaredy cat that I am, I about lost my mind.
Will jumped up, wearing only his underwear, and opened the bathroom door. Then, he told me that a possum had fallen through the roof.
Of course, I didn’t believe him and had to see for myself. So he cracked the door and there was this possum standing on its back legs, snarling its teeth at me, making a crazy noise, and bleeding from falling on our storage. I screamed hysterically and jumped back on the bed.
Will stood on top of a cooler and poked at the terrified thing with a rake trying to get it to run outside. All the while, he was still only wearing his underwear and he reminded me of a character from Lord of the Flies….you know the one about the deserted boys we had to read in middle school?
The possum didn’t care what Will did to him. He wasn’t leaving. Finally, Will gave up and decided that we would just go back to sleep and maybe it would crawl back through the hole in which it fell.
So, we shut the bathroom door, turned out the lights, and laid down. That thing went berserk! It was running all over that room and bouncing off the walls and having a fit. I couldn’t take it. I got the idea to build a tunnel and get the possum to run through it. (Yes, Will, it was my idea, so don’t even try to take credit for it like you always do.) So, there we were in the middle of the night taking all of our dresser drawers out and lining them up. Then, we put blankets on the top of them so he couldn’t jump out. We made a tunnel all the way out the door. It worked! He ran right through it and out the door. We couldn’t go back to sleep for wondering if people would ever believe that really happened to us.
Anyway, back to the movie…I was seriously alarmed that something was going to fall on my head. And, like I said, possums do fall through roofs. So, as much as I enjoyed the movie, I kept looking up every few minutes to see if anything was falling on me. And, during the movie, I kept whispering to Will who was ignoring my very valid concerns at having roaches, rats, or possums fall on me! Next time we go to that particular place, I will just wear his Steelers football helmet for protection and see if he ignores me then!
After the movie, we decided we would get dessert. I wanted to go to Applebee’s and he was like, “You don’t want to go there. You just think you do.” Do you know how infuriating that statement is??? I was like, “NO, I want to go there! Me and Hannah (my niece) shared a very good brownie from there once and I would like that.” (Remember that Hannah? That was where the lady gave you the balloon you loved so much.)
But, no, he still felt that I did not want to go there and informed me that he wanted to go to Wendy’s and get a frosty. My response? You guessed it! “No, you don’t. You just think you do.” We ended up just coming home, both pouting.
As we were pulling into the driveway, I noticed the big dipper. I said, “You know it always amazes me that those are the very same stars I used to look at during my childhood.” In what I perceived as a sarcastic tone, his response was, “Well, actually, they have been there longer than your childhood and will be there well after we die.”
I called him an airhead. Hey, I couldn’t think of anything better. Then we stared at each other a second, daring the other to say anything else…..and, of course, we laughed and called it a night. We are weird that way.
Ok, back up…first I need to tell you that Will has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Don’t worry about him being embarrassed that I told you this because he is in absolute DENIAL! He has never talked to a doctor about it, but I am telling y’all…he definitely has it! The things he does…that is a whole separate blog in and of itself.
We made it to the theater last night with about 15 minutes to go before the movie. Will thinks it is an absolute sin not to get the biggest popcorn and the biggest drink possible at the movies. Oh, and he can not have ANY ice in his drinks so we always have to discuss this with every cashier. Will: “I want coke, no ice.” Cashier: “But, the coke is warm. Don’t you want just a little ice?” Will: “I do not want ANY ice.” Cashier: Ooookaaaayyyy? (cashier gives look that says, “this guy is a weirdo” and then I always confirm it to him/her verbally).
We made it through all this and then it was receipt and change time. People, this is a huge deal to Will. He will not, under any circumstances, walk away from the counter until his receipt and change have been put away in an organized manner in his wallet. He just will not do it. I was like, “Will, can you do that in the movie? It is about to start.” Will: “No, I’ve almost got it done…just let me make sure all the president’s heads are facing the same way and the bills are in order from smallest to largest. Then, I need to place the receipts in such a way that they can be folded neatly.” Aaaaargggghhh!!!!
Made it into the movie….tried to sit down…kept being met with some resistance that would bump me back up. Finally realized that it was Will doing his “pre-sit dance”. This involves moving his wallet to each pocket to see which feels the best, then the keys to each pocket, then pulls the bottom of his jeans down and his socks up 3 times each and then does this little butt shaking thing which I think is his attempt to be sure his underwear is not up his rear.
So each time I would go to sit, he would bump my hip during this ritual and I would pop back up. Finally, exasperated, I yelled out, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He yelled back, “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’M TRYING TO SIT DOWN!” I was like, “I AM THE ONE TRYING TO SIT DOWN AND YOU ARE CRAZY AS ALL GET OUT! NOW MOVE!”
Sat down finally and both of us gave the other an eye roll and commenced to eating the popcorn. I always beg Will to let us each get our own small bag of popcorn because I can not stand to share popcorn with him. But no, he has to get the biggest 5 gallon bucket of popcorn they have and we always, always, always throw more than half of it in the trash.
When he eats popcorn, his eating hand does not stay still more than half a second…bag, mouth, bag, mouth. I don’t know how he breathes! So he starts digging into the popcorn and I am like, “Slow down! There is plenty.” He wants to know what I am talking about so I do a demonstration. The problem is that I am a slow eater so my attempts to eat like he does left me with popcorn all over my shirt after it fell out of my mouth and now he was telling me that I was the crazy one.
We commenced to eating popcorn again and then he just started hysterically laughing. I’m talking, tears, can’t breathe, turning blue, kind of laughing. I was like, “Have you finally lost what was left of your mind? What is wrong with you?!” All he could do was laugh in response so I told him, “Move down a few seats. I don’t want people thinking I am with you! They are going to think you are on drugs!” There were only 6 other people in the theatre so they could hear everything we were saying. I’m sure they thought we were both on drugs.
He finally caught his breath and told me that he was laughing because from the time we walked in we were acting as if we were Doug and Carrie from King of Queens. So, then he got me laughing and that was it.
I guess I leaned my head back without meaning to. When I did, I noticed that there were two HUGE holes right above our heads. Then, I got it in my mind that either roaches, rats, or possums were going to fall on our heads as soon as the lights went out. Yes…possums…who hasn’t heard my possum story?
You gotta hear it….about 5 years ago, Will and I lived in a rental house. The master bedroom had a bathroom in it that was not finished. We kept the door to it shut and used it as a storage room. One night, both of us fell asleep and then heard a huge crash in that room. Being the scaredy cat that I am, I about lost my mind.
Will jumped up, wearing only his underwear, and opened the bathroom door. Then, he told me that a possum had fallen through the roof.
Of course, I didn’t believe him and had to see for myself. So he cracked the door and there was this possum standing on its back legs, snarling its teeth at me, making a crazy noise, and bleeding from falling on our storage. I screamed hysterically and jumped back on the bed.
Will stood on top of a cooler and poked at the terrified thing with a rake trying to get it to run outside. All the while, he was still only wearing his underwear and he reminded me of a character from Lord of the Flies….you know the one about the deserted boys we had to read in middle school?
The possum didn’t care what Will did to him. He wasn’t leaving. Finally, Will gave up and decided that we would just go back to sleep and maybe it would crawl back through the hole in which it fell.
So, we shut the bathroom door, turned out the lights, and laid down. That thing went berserk! It was running all over that room and bouncing off the walls and having a fit. I couldn’t take it. I got the idea to build a tunnel and get the possum to run through it. (Yes, Will, it was my idea, so don’t even try to take credit for it like you always do.) So, there we were in the middle of the night taking all of our dresser drawers out and lining them up. Then, we put blankets on the top of them so he couldn’t jump out. We made a tunnel all the way out the door. It worked! He ran right through it and out the door. We couldn’t go back to sleep for wondering if people would ever believe that really happened to us.
Anyway, back to the movie…I was seriously alarmed that something was going to fall on my head. And, like I said, possums do fall through roofs. So, as much as I enjoyed the movie, I kept looking up every few minutes to see if anything was falling on me. And, during the movie, I kept whispering to Will who was ignoring my very valid concerns at having roaches, rats, or possums fall on me! Next time we go to that particular place, I will just wear his Steelers football helmet for protection and see if he ignores me then!
After the movie, we decided we would get dessert. I wanted to go to Applebee’s and he was like, “You don’t want to go there. You just think you do.” Do you know how infuriating that statement is??? I was like, “NO, I want to go there! Me and Hannah (my niece) shared a very good brownie from there once and I would like that.” (Remember that Hannah? That was where the lady gave you the balloon you loved so much.)
But, no, he still felt that I did not want to go there and informed me that he wanted to go to Wendy’s and get a frosty. My response? You guessed it! “No, you don’t. You just think you do.” We ended up just coming home, both pouting.
As we were pulling into the driveway, I noticed the big dipper. I said, “You know it always amazes me that those are the very same stars I used to look at during my childhood.” In what I perceived as a sarcastic tone, his response was, “Well, actually, they have been there longer than your childhood and will be there well after we die.”
I called him an airhead. Hey, I couldn’t think of anything better. Then we stared at each other a second, daring the other to say anything else…..and, of course, we laughed and called it a night. We are weird that way.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
HAVE YOU SEEN MY FORK?
Fourteen years is a long time to be married to someone. Will and I tell each other periodically that we are about to trade the other in for a new and younger model. But, then we think about it some more and come to the realization that the new and younger models aren’t going to want the used and older ones, so we stick it out just for kicks.
Everyone that knows Will and I well also knows that we give each other a hard time every day. It’s our way. We like to laugh. We are proud of the fact that we still laugh together after all these years.
So, when we headed to Charleston recently to celebrate our anniversary, I knew that we would most certainly have some adventures along the way. The first night there, we decided to walk to a nearby restaurant for dinner. We didn’t have any particular place in mind. We decided we would just stop when something looked good.
We came upon a place and went in. Now, we were in jeans. We are jeans kind of people. As soon as we walked in, I realized that we had made a mistake. Everyone was dressed to the nines. I asked the hostess if there was a dress code and she said no.
Then, she asked Will if we were celebrating a birthday or other event and he said that it was our anniversary trip. We were told that they only had one table available and it was on the 3rd floor of the restaurant, against a wall. Will said we’d take it.
We climbed steep stairs and arrived at a very isolated table. It literally felt like we were sitting in someone’s attic. There were no people. There were no other tables. It was just us. It sounds like it could be romantic, but it was actually very odd.
As soon as the hostess walked away, we started laughing. We couldn’t help it. This is the kind of stuff that happens to us everywhere we go. Maybe it was because we had on jeans that they decided to hide us up there in that attic, or maybe it was truly the only table they had.
The waiter arrived at our table dressed in some fancy tuxedo type outfit and told us Happy Anniversary. The hostess had apparently passed along the news. We were asked if we wanted sparkling water, mineral water, or regular water to start. Of course, we started laughing again and told him that we would just take the tap water. He looked a little bewildered and off he went to get it. While he was gone, we did our best imitations of rich people saying, “I must have the sparkling water only. No tap water for me. What do you think I am? A peasant?”
He came back with the water and a little basket that had all kind of fancy looking bread in it. Some of it was flat like a pancake, and crispy. Some of it was rolled into skinny little sticks. Will grabbed one of the pancake looking ones which turned out to be about the size of a dinner plate and sat there and ate it like a pizza.
Once we reviewed the menu, we determined that #1, this place was expensive and #2, we couldn’t read half the stuff on the menu. We ended up ordering steak because we knew what that was.
I ordered filet mignon with fries and Will got New York strip with mashed potatoes. While we waited on the food, we ate our fancy bread and talked about how Willis would love to have some of the skinny shaped ones and wished we could put some in our pockets to take home to him.
I have to talk about the silverware arrangement. We had a lot of it. For some reason, I kept putting mine in one big stack. I was doing this without realizing it. And each time the waiter would come around, he would re-arrange it. I kept him busy re-organizing my silverware the whole meal. I don’t know why I kept stacking it up. Maybe it was so I could see everything I had to choose from in one glance. After each course, he would come and steal some of our silverware. I told Will, “That dude just came and stole my little fork. That was the cutest fork I had!”
Later, our server arrived at our table with two fancy bent spoons that each had something on them. He told us that it was a treat on him and it was an appetizer for us. It was one bite of food and neither one of us had a clue as to what it was. But, we felt obligated to try it. It was some kind of meat on a little crispy triangle looking thing. Let me tell you, it was gross! Neither one of us liked it at all and had a hard time not gagging. The waiter came back and asked us how it was and, of course, we told him, “It was great!” He told us it was tuna tartar. I’m here to tell y’all. I don’t want any more tuna tartar as long as I live!
Our food finally arrived and that was one of the best steaks I have ever eaten in my life. It came with all these fancy little sauces, like truffle butter. I could have drunk that truffle butter, it was so good. The fries weren’t so good. They reminded me of those potato stick things that come in cans for like 99 cents. They served them to me in a fancy metal cone which Will said reminded him of the Tin Man’s hat from Wizard of Oz.
The waiter had talked Will into getting his steak “Pittsburgh style”. Will said if it had Pittsburgh in the name, then it must be good. They took his steak, cut it down the middle, poured some type of sugar glaze in it, re-sealed it, and cooked it. It turned out to be really tough and he was disappointed, but he did love the mashed potatoes.
At the end, the server asked what we wanted for dessert. Since we were already going to have to wash the dishes to pay for what we had, we declined. We told him we were stuffed. He then told us that they were going to pay for it as a present for our anniversary. Now, that was a different story. We suddenly had more room in our stomachs!
We ordered a slice of devils food cake, with chocolate butter cream icing, and layers of chocolate ganache. What they came back with was absolutely enormous. This piece of cake was HUGE! It had about 16 layers. They wrote “Happy Anniversary” on our plate in chocolate and put a tiny, tiny glass of milk on there too with caramel as the glue to hold the glass down. Will drank the milk in one swallow. I am normally not a chocolate cake eater, but this stuff was good…really good. We couldn’t finish it all and they wrapped it up for us. It was even better the next day.
On our walk back to the room, we decided that was one of our most memorable meals. We had a great time seeing ourselves in such a fancy environment. Perhaps that was the best anniversary present we could have given each other….a reminder that even after all these years, we still like to laugh together.
Everyone that knows Will and I well also knows that we give each other a hard time every day. It’s our way. We like to laugh. We are proud of the fact that we still laugh together after all these years.
So, when we headed to Charleston recently to celebrate our anniversary, I knew that we would most certainly have some adventures along the way. The first night there, we decided to walk to a nearby restaurant for dinner. We didn’t have any particular place in mind. We decided we would just stop when something looked good.
We came upon a place and went in. Now, we were in jeans. We are jeans kind of people. As soon as we walked in, I realized that we had made a mistake. Everyone was dressed to the nines. I asked the hostess if there was a dress code and she said no.
Then, she asked Will if we were celebrating a birthday or other event and he said that it was our anniversary trip. We were told that they only had one table available and it was on the 3rd floor of the restaurant, against a wall. Will said we’d take it.
We climbed steep stairs and arrived at a very isolated table. It literally felt like we were sitting in someone’s attic. There were no people. There were no other tables. It was just us. It sounds like it could be romantic, but it was actually very odd.
As soon as the hostess walked away, we started laughing. We couldn’t help it. This is the kind of stuff that happens to us everywhere we go. Maybe it was because we had on jeans that they decided to hide us up there in that attic, or maybe it was truly the only table they had.
The waiter arrived at our table dressed in some fancy tuxedo type outfit and told us Happy Anniversary. The hostess had apparently passed along the news. We were asked if we wanted sparkling water, mineral water, or regular water to start. Of course, we started laughing again and told him that we would just take the tap water. He looked a little bewildered and off he went to get it. While he was gone, we did our best imitations of rich people saying, “I must have the sparkling water only. No tap water for me. What do you think I am? A peasant?”
He came back with the water and a little basket that had all kind of fancy looking bread in it. Some of it was flat like a pancake, and crispy. Some of it was rolled into skinny little sticks. Will grabbed one of the pancake looking ones which turned out to be about the size of a dinner plate and sat there and ate it like a pizza.
Once we reviewed the menu, we determined that #1, this place was expensive and #2, we couldn’t read half the stuff on the menu. We ended up ordering steak because we knew what that was.
I ordered filet mignon with fries and Will got New York strip with mashed potatoes. While we waited on the food, we ate our fancy bread and talked about how Willis would love to have some of the skinny shaped ones and wished we could put some in our pockets to take home to him.
I have to talk about the silverware arrangement. We had a lot of it. For some reason, I kept putting mine in one big stack. I was doing this without realizing it. And each time the waiter would come around, he would re-arrange it. I kept him busy re-organizing my silverware the whole meal. I don’t know why I kept stacking it up. Maybe it was so I could see everything I had to choose from in one glance. After each course, he would come and steal some of our silverware. I told Will, “That dude just came and stole my little fork. That was the cutest fork I had!”
Later, our server arrived at our table with two fancy bent spoons that each had something on them. He told us that it was a treat on him and it was an appetizer for us. It was one bite of food and neither one of us had a clue as to what it was. But, we felt obligated to try it. It was some kind of meat on a little crispy triangle looking thing. Let me tell you, it was gross! Neither one of us liked it at all and had a hard time not gagging. The waiter came back and asked us how it was and, of course, we told him, “It was great!” He told us it was tuna tartar. I’m here to tell y’all. I don’t want any more tuna tartar as long as I live!
Our food finally arrived and that was one of the best steaks I have ever eaten in my life. It came with all these fancy little sauces, like truffle butter. I could have drunk that truffle butter, it was so good. The fries weren’t so good. They reminded me of those potato stick things that come in cans for like 99 cents. They served them to me in a fancy metal cone which Will said reminded him of the Tin Man’s hat from Wizard of Oz.
The waiter had talked Will into getting his steak “Pittsburgh style”. Will said if it had Pittsburgh in the name, then it must be good. They took his steak, cut it down the middle, poured some type of sugar glaze in it, re-sealed it, and cooked it. It turned out to be really tough and he was disappointed, but he did love the mashed potatoes.
At the end, the server asked what we wanted for dessert. Since we were already going to have to wash the dishes to pay for what we had, we declined. We told him we were stuffed. He then told us that they were going to pay for it as a present for our anniversary. Now, that was a different story. We suddenly had more room in our stomachs!
We ordered a slice of devils food cake, with chocolate butter cream icing, and layers of chocolate ganache. What they came back with was absolutely enormous. This piece of cake was HUGE! It had about 16 layers. They wrote “Happy Anniversary” on our plate in chocolate and put a tiny, tiny glass of milk on there too with caramel as the glue to hold the glass down. Will drank the milk in one swallow. I am normally not a chocolate cake eater, but this stuff was good…really good. We couldn’t finish it all and they wrapped it up for us. It was even better the next day.
On our walk back to the room, we decided that was one of our most memorable meals. We had a great time seeing ourselves in such a fancy environment. Perhaps that was the best anniversary present we could have given each other….a reminder that even after all these years, we still like to laugh together.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
So!!!
Yes, Clemson won (barely) and yes, Will is letting me have it. We are getting ready to go out and buy the Clemson flag that will hang outside our house. All I can come up with is "so" and of course the old standby--"wait until next year!" :-)
Friday, November 23, 2007
BRAGGIN' RIGHTS
As some of you know, Will and I make a "bet" each year about the USC/Clemson game. I would just like to remind everyone that USC won last year and our steering wheel cover in the Jeep is covered in Gamecocks! Will LOVES it! Ha!
Ok, this year's bet--the winning team's flag gets to hang on the upstairs patio all year long. When it rains, the person whose team lost has to go out and bring it in and then re-hang it when the rain stops.
Go Gamecocks!!!
Ok, this year's bet--the winning team's flag gets to hang on the upstairs patio all year long. When it rains, the person whose team lost has to go out and bring it in and then re-hang it when the rain stops.
Go Gamecocks!!!
Monday, November 5, 2007
HEY GEORGE, WHAT'S UP?
We recently traveled to Washington, D.C for Will to cover a Clemson game. I had never been and Will had only been once as a child. Due to some car sickness issues, we almost missed our flight out of Atlanta. Will and I running through the airport while people stared was pretty funny. Before we reached the actual inside of the airport, I told Will that we needed to run from the parking lot to the terminal. I took off at full speed. He walked. We still ended up at the door at the same time. He thought that was hilarious.
Once we arrived in Washington, we headed for the baggage area only to discover that one of our bags didn’t make it. This particular bag has been lost a total of three times over various flights. I am never using it again. Long story short, it arrived two hours later on another plane. While we waited, we ate lunch at the airport. It actually wasn’t too bad…the food, I mean. Dealing with the baggage claim lady…very bad.
We got a rental car and promptly got lost as soon as we left the airport. (Daddy, If you are reading this, skip this paragraph and jump ahead to the next one.) Traffic was horrible and we were lost for a while. I ended up seeing a little sign directing us to the interstate and I was like, “Go! Turn now! Now! Now!” So, we cut off a few lanes of traffic and hit the on-ramp on two wheels. I started singing, “Just the good ole boys, never meaning no harm….”
Saturday was game day so while Will worked, I got out a little, but was too chicken to get too far away from the hotel. I still enjoyed it though.
Sunday morning we decided that we were going to take one of those trolley tours in DC because it takes you to the different points of interest and you don’t have to worry about getting lost. We were actually really excited about it.
We were told that we had to drive to the subway station and take a train to Union Station. Why do they keep those waiting areas in the subway so dark? That’s what I want to know. I know it is underground, but why can’t they turn some lights on in there?
We reached Union Station and inside was a transportation center and a big mall with every store imaginable. We headed to the ticket counter to buy a ticket for the tour and a lovely lady says, “Oh, we aren’t doing tours today.” We told her that the brochure clearly stated that the tours run daily and she just repeated that they weren’t doing them that day. Deep breaths and counting to 10…
By the time we ate lunch, we had been in Union Station for over an hour and still had not seen any of DC. We decided to head out on foot which is scary considering how often we get lost. It was freezing and the wind was blowing 100 miles and hour and the sun was blinding. We didn’t have our sunglasses with us and neither one of us had a hat. The wind was just whipping around our faces and my hair was like a mini-tornado swirling around my head.
Back into Union Station for hats and sunglasses…Will found a Steelers hat right away. I looked like a dork in every hat that I tried on, but I finally decided that I would rather look like a dork than freeze so I selected one. By this time, we had been inside Union Station for over 2 hours and still had not seen DC.
We headed out wearing our new accessories and just started walking toward the Capitol. We took lots of pictures and it felt strange to be there. We walked around the National Mall which has all the famous landmarks of DC in a rectangle. I must admit that when I saw the sign directing people to the National Mall, I thought it was a real mall. Ha! We had dinner with a friend the night we arrived in Washington. He asked what I was going to do Saturday while Will worked and I told him that I saw a sign for a national mall I might check out. He was nice enough not to give me a hard time, although I truly deserved it.
We walked A LOT. We walked through the space museum which was pretty neat. We went into The Smithsonian and it was a lot smaller than I expected. Will found a Steelers helmet from one of the Super Bowl games or something like that and was more thrilled over it than anything he saw in Washington.
There was a security guard standing still in the middle of The Smithsonian just kind of watching everyone and I was curious to know if he got bored doing that job, so much to Will’s embarrassment, I walked up and asked him. They think we talk funny, even though they are the ones that talk funny, so I am sure to him it sounded like, “D’ya git bored standin’ in hur al’ dae?’ He laughed and said that it wasn’t too bad and that he had read all the descriptions under the displays over and over. Then, I asked him if the guards switch out periodically to give each other a break. He said they didn’t and I told Will later that he probably thought I was trying to figure out the guard schedule so we could rob the place!
After walking around a while, we decided to head to the Washington Monument. It looked a lot closer to us than it was! We walked and walked and walked. We finally made it and JUST when we got there the guards were locking it up and said no one else could go in. We were soooo disappointed. We took a lot of pictures of the outside of it, but I still don’t know what is in there. Someone that’s been, e-mail me and tell me what I missed.
We continued on to the Lincoln Memorial and the WWII Memorial. It was moving to see the flowers they put out for the veterans and to read the words of Truman about the war. Will’s Dad, who passed away last October, served in that war.
The whole time we were walking from the WWII Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial we kept re-enacting the scene in Forest Gump where Jenny is running through the water to meet Forest after he gives that speech. Of course, we didn’t get in the actual water, but you get the picture. We also kept seeing who could do the best imitation of Forest telling Jenny that he was glad they were together in their nation’s capitol. I think Will won. The only impression I can do is Cher. Wow, this got off topic fast.
Ok, so once we reached the Lincoln Memorial we took lots of pictures and headed out. Now, we were both under the impression that you must drive to get to the White House. We asked a ranger, out of curiosity, how close we were to it and he was like, oh, it’s just about 8 blocks over! I asked him what time the tours stopped for it and he must have thought I was the dumbest person because he told me that it takes months to get background clearance to tour the White House and they don’t just let anyone in. Well, excuuuusse me!
After a lot more walking, we made it to the White House. I don’t know what I was expecting, but that wasn’t it. It looks so huge and magnificent on TV. In actuality, it’s just off on the corner of a side street and isn’t that big. I was amazed that we could just walk up to its gate. There were some cops that looked like kids standing on the street watching us. I am sure there were a million cameras on us, but still. We did see a car come in that had to get searched by a dog before it could come through. I think I enjoyed that more than seeing the White House itself.
We stood out there behind the fence and looked through the bars with all the other people. We probably looked like animals in a zoo. We made jokes about yelling things through the fence such as, “George, we are here! I hope you have something good for supper!”
It was getting dark so we decided to head back. We started walking and this secret service type popped through the fence and I figured he was a good a person as any to ask for directions. He told me that he didn’t know how to get back to Union Station but that he could tell me how to get to another subway center. I told him, no thanks. Will was like, “What in the world did you do that for? Why didn’t you take the directions?” I, being a small town girl and proud of it, didn’t know that you could just go through any subway center to get back to your car!
We ended up getting directions from a restaurant employee. The funny thing is that the restaurant was some fancy, smancy place and when we went to ask the guy who was wearing this fancy uniform get-up, Will tripped over a brick. So, the guy’s eyes got real big like he was scared of us. After he gave us directions, a man in a 3-piece suit walked out of the restaurant and went up to one of the workers and said all serious-like, “Taxi”. Well, I guess he was someone important because they started blowing whistles and calling taxi’s left and right. Will was like, that’s what we should have done. Instead of tripping over a brick and asking for subway directions, we should have walked up there like we owned the place and said, “Taxi”.
We got up at 4:30 the next morning to head to Reagan Airport. Did we get lost on the way to the airport? Of course we did!!!
We made it eventually, and as our carry-on bags were being x-rayed by security, one of them yelled out, “We got a CD-960 (or something similar) over here!” (This was after Will set off the alarm because he forgot his cell phone was in his pocket.) I was just standing there in shock and her supervisor came over and took my bag and asked me if it was mine. I could not figure out what in the world they thought I had in there. She dug through it and then held a bottle of water up to my face and gave me a speech on how many ounces of liquid I am allowed to have and threw the bottle of water in the trash like it was diseased. I knew about the new rule but I was half asleep and forgot I even had the water in there. Good grief…
It was a pretty uneventful flight except that the pilot had to circle the airport several times because too many planes were trying to land at once. That turning feeling in a plane is not my idea of fun.
All in all, it was a decent trip. Clemson is supposed to play them again year after next. Maybe I should put in for a background clearance now so we can go inside the White House next time. If Hilary gets elected (very scary thought), would it be rude of me to ask her to sing the chorus to “Stand by Your Man”?
Once we arrived in Washington, we headed for the baggage area only to discover that one of our bags didn’t make it. This particular bag has been lost a total of three times over various flights. I am never using it again. Long story short, it arrived two hours later on another plane. While we waited, we ate lunch at the airport. It actually wasn’t too bad…the food, I mean. Dealing with the baggage claim lady…very bad.
We got a rental car and promptly got lost as soon as we left the airport. (Daddy, If you are reading this, skip this paragraph and jump ahead to the next one.) Traffic was horrible and we were lost for a while. I ended up seeing a little sign directing us to the interstate and I was like, “Go! Turn now! Now! Now!” So, we cut off a few lanes of traffic and hit the on-ramp on two wheels. I started singing, “Just the good ole boys, never meaning no harm….”
Saturday was game day so while Will worked, I got out a little, but was too chicken to get too far away from the hotel. I still enjoyed it though.
Sunday morning we decided that we were going to take one of those trolley tours in DC because it takes you to the different points of interest and you don’t have to worry about getting lost. We were actually really excited about it.
We were told that we had to drive to the subway station and take a train to Union Station. Why do they keep those waiting areas in the subway so dark? That’s what I want to know. I know it is underground, but why can’t they turn some lights on in there?
We reached Union Station and inside was a transportation center and a big mall with every store imaginable. We headed to the ticket counter to buy a ticket for the tour and a lovely lady says, “Oh, we aren’t doing tours today.” We told her that the brochure clearly stated that the tours run daily and she just repeated that they weren’t doing them that day. Deep breaths and counting to 10…
By the time we ate lunch, we had been in Union Station for over an hour and still had not seen any of DC. We decided to head out on foot which is scary considering how often we get lost. It was freezing and the wind was blowing 100 miles and hour and the sun was blinding. We didn’t have our sunglasses with us and neither one of us had a hat. The wind was just whipping around our faces and my hair was like a mini-tornado swirling around my head.
Back into Union Station for hats and sunglasses…Will found a Steelers hat right away. I looked like a dork in every hat that I tried on, but I finally decided that I would rather look like a dork than freeze so I selected one. By this time, we had been inside Union Station for over 2 hours and still had not seen DC.
We headed out wearing our new accessories and just started walking toward the Capitol. We took lots of pictures and it felt strange to be there. We walked around the National Mall which has all the famous landmarks of DC in a rectangle. I must admit that when I saw the sign directing people to the National Mall, I thought it was a real mall. Ha! We had dinner with a friend the night we arrived in Washington. He asked what I was going to do Saturday while Will worked and I told him that I saw a sign for a national mall I might check out. He was nice enough not to give me a hard time, although I truly deserved it.
We walked A LOT. We walked through the space museum which was pretty neat. We went into The Smithsonian and it was a lot smaller than I expected. Will found a Steelers helmet from one of the Super Bowl games or something like that and was more thrilled over it than anything he saw in Washington.
There was a security guard standing still in the middle of The Smithsonian just kind of watching everyone and I was curious to know if he got bored doing that job, so much to Will’s embarrassment, I walked up and asked him. They think we talk funny, even though they are the ones that talk funny, so I am sure to him it sounded like, “D’ya git bored standin’ in hur al’ dae?’ He laughed and said that it wasn’t too bad and that he had read all the descriptions under the displays over and over. Then, I asked him if the guards switch out periodically to give each other a break. He said they didn’t and I told Will later that he probably thought I was trying to figure out the guard schedule so we could rob the place!
After walking around a while, we decided to head to the Washington Monument. It looked a lot closer to us than it was! We walked and walked and walked. We finally made it and JUST when we got there the guards were locking it up and said no one else could go in. We were soooo disappointed. We took a lot of pictures of the outside of it, but I still don’t know what is in there. Someone that’s been, e-mail me and tell me what I missed.
We continued on to the Lincoln Memorial and the WWII Memorial. It was moving to see the flowers they put out for the veterans and to read the words of Truman about the war. Will’s Dad, who passed away last October, served in that war.
The whole time we were walking from the WWII Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial we kept re-enacting the scene in Forest Gump where Jenny is running through the water to meet Forest after he gives that speech. Of course, we didn’t get in the actual water, but you get the picture. We also kept seeing who could do the best imitation of Forest telling Jenny that he was glad they were together in their nation’s capitol. I think Will won. The only impression I can do is Cher. Wow, this got off topic fast.
Ok, so once we reached the Lincoln Memorial we took lots of pictures and headed out. Now, we were both under the impression that you must drive to get to the White House. We asked a ranger, out of curiosity, how close we were to it and he was like, oh, it’s just about 8 blocks over! I asked him what time the tours stopped for it and he must have thought I was the dumbest person because he told me that it takes months to get background clearance to tour the White House and they don’t just let anyone in. Well, excuuuusse me!
After a lot more walking, we made it to the White House. I don’t know what I was expecting, but that wasn’t it. It looks so huge and magnificent on TV. In actuality, it’s just off on the corner of a side street and isn’t that big. I was amazed that we could just walk up to its gate. There were some cops that looked like kids standing on the street watching us. I am sure there were a million cameras on us, but still. We did see a car come in that had to get searched by a dog before it could come through. I think I enjoyed that more than seeing the White House itself.
We stood out there behind the fence and looked through the bars with all the other people. We probably looked like animals in a zoo. We made jokes about yelling things through the fence such as, “George, we are here! I hope you have something good for supper!”
It was getting dark so we decided to head back. We started walking and this secret service type popped through the fence and I figured he was a good a person as any to ask for directions. He told me that he didn’t know how to get back to Union Station but that he could tell me how to get to another subway center. I told him, no thanks. Will was like, “What in the world did you do that for? Why didn’t you take the directions?” I, being a small town girl and proud of it, didn’t know that you could just go through any subway center to get back to your car!
We ended up getting directions from a restaurant employee. The funny thing is that the restaurant was some fancy, smancy place and when we went to ask the guy who was wearing this fancy uniform get-up, Will tripped over a brick. So, the guy’s eyes got real big like he was scared of us. After he gave us directions, a man in a 3-piece suit walked out of the restaurant and went up to one of the workers and said all serious-like, “Taxi”. Well, I guess he was someone important because they started blowing whistles and calling taxi’s left and right. Will was like, that’s what we should have done. Instead of tripping over a brick and asking for subway directions, we should have walked up there like we owned the place and said, “Taxi”.
We got up at 4:30 the next morning to head to Reagan Airport. Did we get lost on the way to the airport? Of course we did!!!
We made it eventually, and as our carry-on bags were being x-rayed by security, one of them yelled out, “We got a CD-960 (or something similar) over here!” (This was after Will set off the alarm because he forgot his cell phone was in his pocket.) I was just standing there in shock and her supervisor came over and took my bag and asked me if it was mine. I could not figure out what in the world they thought I had in there. She dug through it and then held a bottle of water up to my face and gave me a speech on how many ounces of liquid I am allowed to have and threw the bottle of water in the trash like it was diseased. I knew about the new rule but I was half asleep and forgot I even had the water in there. Good grief…
It was a pretty uneventful flight except that the pilot had to circle the airport several times because too many planes were trying to land at once. That turning feeling in a plane is not my idea of fun.
All in all, it was a decent trip. Clemson is supposed to play them again year after next. Maybe I should put in for a background clearance now so we can go inside the White House next time. If Hilary gets elected (very scary thought), would it be rude of me to ask her to sing the chorus to “Stand by Your Man”?
Monday, October 22, 2007
LEMON COOKIES CAN MAKE GREAT WEAPONS
So, I woke up with a case of the “blahs” yesterday morning. In fact, I’ve had a general feeling of ill health a lot lately. After a lot of thought, I developed my own treatment plan. I’ve started telling myself, “There are people, including kids, out there with cancer. They are people out there living with physical pain every day. Our soldiers are at war and their spouses are raising kids on their own. I’m sorry, but you are just NOT that pitiful. Quit belly aching and enjoy the life that God gave you.”
After my little lecture to myself, I decided that Will and I needed to get out of the house and go on a hike. There is a trail about 30 minutes from our house. It is 3 miles round trip and it is rated as moderately difficult. It takes two hours to complete. But, it is so worth the workout, because there is a beautiful 75 foot waterfall at the end of the trail. Once you reach it, you get to spend time just being in awe of it.
Off we went, and it was so great hiking through those woods, listening to all the sounds of nature. Sometimes the trail was very narrow and other times it opened up into large, wide open spaces of just beautiful woods.
But, I am a scaredy cat sometimes…ok, most of the time. If I heard too much rattling, I automatically assumed it was a bear. And, I asked Will more than once what he thought the chances were of us being kidnapped by the chainsaw massacre since we were so far out in the woods…seemingly alone. I can’t help it!
You never quite know when you will run into someone out there because the woods are thick. We were walking along and suddenly a couple appeared out of nowhere. I gasped and said, “You scared me! I thought you were a bear!” They just kind of laughed a little and then when we got 100 feet or so away from them, I heard them laughing very loudly. I’m glad I could make their day. There ARE bears in these parts, I tell ya!
We hiked and tripped several times and discussed various things along the way, such as bears, childhood memories, chainsaw massacres, ticks, dinner plans, spiders, the Blair Witch Project (hey Kelli), the weather, snakes, etc.
We finally reached the falls, and oh boy, it was just what my “blah” mood needed to see. You could almost feel God there in our presence saying, “See what I made for you.” I shut my eyes and just listened to that falling water…bliss.
Oh wait…forgot to mention that we had a run in with a wild animal on those rocks before we climbed them. When we first arrived at the falls, we saw an animal sitting on the rocks. It was gray, with a touch of brown. We couldn’t tell what it was but it looked like it was sleeping. We snuck quietly closer and closer to it. We tried to zoom in on it with our camera to figure out what it was. We couldn’t tell, but it wasn’t moving so we kept slowly approaching it. We got pretty close to it and all of a sudden figured out that it was a big, scary……ROCK! We felt like the stooges that we were, for sure. It did look like some crazy animal from a distance…seriously. Just the thought of us sneaking up on that odd shaped rock, all Elmer Fudd like, totally cracks me up.
We stayed at the bottom of the falls for a little while and had a little snack. We enjoyed the experience very much. Of course, Will had to bring up the bears again and the fact that they were probably going to smell our food. It was time to head out.
About 10 minutes into our hike back, a dog appeared out of nowhere and started running toward us. We didn’t know if this was a wild dog or what. It was large, ugly, and was only using 3 of its legs. The 4th one was kind of curled up under it and was obviously hurt or deformed. But, it was approaching us fast. It saw us and ran the other direction so we thought it was more scared of us than we were of it. But, it suddenly came running back.
I came up with a quick plan. Through clenched teeth, I said, “Don’t panic. Reach into the bag and get the lemon cookies that I put in there. Throw them at him and he will eat those instead of us.” I was very serious about this plan that I had formulated and I did not think Will was acting fast enough. The dog was right on top of us at this point and I was about to panic. I was in the process of trying to rip the backpack off Will’s back to get the cookies when two people popped up and I knew right away it was their family dog. They said that they were sorry it scared us and its leg had been deformed since it was a puppy and it was just an old dog.
We had a pretty good laugh on the way back about my weapon of choice….lemon cookies. Lesson learned…when you are about to be attacked in the middle of the woods, all alone, by a scary wild animal, make sure you have more than two lemon cookies to protect yourself.
After my little lecture to myself, I decided that Will and I needed to get out of the house and go on a hike. There is a trail about 30 minutes from our house. It is 3 miles round trip and it is rated as moderately difficult. It takes two hours to complete. But, it is so worth the workout, because there is a beautiful 75 foot waterfall at the end of the trail. Once you reach it, you get to spend time just being in awe of it.
Off we went, and it was so great hiking through those woods, listening to all the sounds of nature. Sometimes the trail was very narrow and other times it opened up into large, wide open spaces of just beautiful woods.
But, I am a scaredy cat sometimes…ok, most of the time. If I heard too much rattling, I automatically assumed it was a bear. And, I asked Will more than once what he thought the chances were of us being kidnapped by the chainsaw massacre since we were so far out in the woods…seemingly alone. I can’t help it!
You never quite know when you will run into someone out there because the woods are thick. We were walking along and suddenly a couple appeared out of nowhere. I gasped and said, “You scared me! I thought you were a bear!” They just kind of laughed a little and then when we got 100 feet or so away from them, I heard them laughing very loudly. I’m glad I could make their day. There ARE bears in these parts, I tell ya!
We hiked and tripped several times and discussed various things along the way, such as bears, childhood memories, chainsaw massacres, ticks, dinner plans, spiders, the Blair Witch Project (hey Kelli), the weather, snakes, etc.
We finally reached the falls, and oh boy, it was just what my “blah” mood needed to see. You could almost feel God there in our presence saying, “See what I made for you.” I shut my eyes and just listened to that falling water…bliss.
Oh wait…forgot to mention that we had a run in with a wild animal on those rocks before we climbed them. When we first arrived at the falls, we saw an animal sitting on the rocks. It was gray, with a touch of brown. We couldn’t tell what it was but it looked like it was sleeping. We snuck quietly closer and closer to it. We tried to zoom in on it with our camera to figure out what it was. We couldn’t tell, but it wasn’t moving so we kept slowly approaching it. We got pretty close to it and all of a sudden figured out that it was a big, scary……ROCK! We felt like the stooges that we were, for sure. It did look like some crazy animal from a distance…seriously. Just the thought of us sneaking up on that odd shaped rock, all Elmer Fudd like, totally cracks me up.
We stayed at the bottom of the falls for a little while and had a little snack. We enjoyed the experience very much. Of course, Will had to bring up the bears again and the fact that they were probably going to smell our food. It was time to head out.
About 10 minutes into our hike back, a dog appeared out of nowhere and started running toward us. We didn’t know if this was a wild dog or what. It was large, ugly, and was only using 3 of its legs. The 4th one was kind of curled up under it and was obviously hurt or deformed. But, it was approaching us fast. It saw us and ran the other direction so we thought it was more scared of us than we were of it. But, it suddenly came running back.
I came up with a quick plan. Through clenched teeth, I said, “Don’t panic. Reach into the bag and get the lemon cookies that I put in there. Throw them at him and he will eat those instead of us.” I was very serious about this plan that I had formulated and I did not think Will was acting fast enough. The dog was right on top of us at this point and I was about to panic. I was in the process of trying to rip the backpack off Will’s back to get the cookies when two people popped up and I knew right away it was their family dog. They said that they were sorry it scared us and its leg had been deformed since it was a puppy and it was just an old dog.
We had a pretty good laugh on the way back about my weapon of choice….lemon cookies. Lesson learned…when you are about to be attacked in the middle of the woods, all alone, by a scary wild animal, make sure you have more than two lemon cookies to protect yourself.
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