2 WEEKS OLD

10/19/12 Dear Addison, You are 2 weeks old. However, I feel that I've had you by my side for much longer. I could not imagine life without you now. I wouldn't even want to try. When the time comes for you to have your own baby, people will tell you over and over that your own child will bring about a type of love that you've never imagined. It's true. You will have to wait to experience it for yourself, as it is not describable.

The last several months of the pregnancy were fairly stressful. I had to see a high risk OB specialist and a regular OB twice a week. Every Tuesday and Thursday, they would hook monitors up to my uterus and your heart beat. They would then expect your heart to accelerate 15 beats above your baseline for 15 seconds, at least 3 times in 15-30 minutes. You never passed that test. The technicians would bring out a buzzer/vibrator and apply it to my stomach to scare you. They would do this as many as 3 times and you could have cared less. After they labeled your test "non-reactive" which is tech talk for "fail", they would perform an US and you would be just fine. We would watch you stretching and yawning on the screen. But the US tech would then find that your amniotic fluid was too high which put us at risk for a prolapsed cord…a fatal condition. These doctors never ceased to keep me worried to death about one thing or the other. But, as long as I saw you moving on the US I stayed somewhat calm.

After months of this routine you eventually had an US in which they attempted to get you to move for 30 minutes. You finally did move, but it was a scary time. At the next US, you were slow to move again. The amniotic fluid was still high. My own heart rate, even though medicated, was no longer controlled, and I was worried about how that affected you. During the first 7 months of the pregnancy, I was sick. Very sick. However, that did not compare to how I felt when I saw your movement declining. I became determined to get you out. I felt that you would be much safer outside the womb where we could take care of you. I was a woman on a mission. I explained to both doctor's that it was time for you to come out, and I meant now. I explained that we had done our part by attending biweekly appointments in which they would scare us to death but do nothing differently. I had enough. It was time for action. Both doctor's agreed that a c-section at 39 weeks would be best.

The day before your c-section, I started having contractions. I had them all day and wasn't sure we would make it to the next day. But, we did. Your Daddy and I woke up around 230 am to get ready to head to the hospital. We were hooked up to those same uterus and heart monitors that had haunted us along the way and we were able to see that I was having a few contractions. At 8:00 am, the doctor was ready to perform the surgery. They had me walk to the OR. Your Daddy was told to wait in the hall and they would call him before the incision was made.

I received a spinal block and was laid on the table. Almost instantly, I felt paralyzed from the upper chest down. My blood pressure quickly dropped to a systolic level of 56. I was turned on my side while my body heaved, trying to throw up. I honestly felt like I was dying and I was so worried about you. The anesthesiologist gave me epinephrine and another med to bump the blood pressure back up. In less than two minutes, I was feeling much better. They brought your Daddy in and the surgery started. My blood pressure periodically dropped during the procedure, but they would push more medication that helped. My heart rate was high and your Daddy kept telling me to calm down. I couldn't calm down. I was so anxious to heart your first cry and to hear that you were ok. I wanted to see your little face pop over the surgical drape.

Our surgery was on a Friday. On Tuesday of that week, your US showed that you were clearly head down and ready for delivery. After what seemed like forever, I heard the doctor reach your little body and announced that you were frank breech…"butt first". I heard them say that I had a lot of amniotic fluid and to watch out. I heard them say that you had meconium in the fluid. I laid there waiting for that first cry. It never came. They pulled you from me and you were limp. You didn't cry. You didn't make a sound. They didn't show you to me. The OR was very quiet. They whisked you away and I could hear them hitting your back. You weren't making any sound. They wouldn't let your Daddy go check on you. It was my worst nightmare. We were scared to death. I've never been that scared and I still have trouble thinking about that time. The pictures that the staff took of your limp body are hard to look at.

Finally, they let your Daddy go check on you while they continued to work on you in the OR. I was left paralyzed and cut open. Helpless. I kept asking over and over and over, "Is she ok?" Nobody could tell me, because nobody knew. I could still hear them hitting your little body and working on you. I couldn't hear your Daddy. I knew that you were not ok.

After what seemed like an absolute eternity, your Daddy came to tell me that you were "beautiful and perfect" but they were still working on you. He went back over and about 5 minutes later, they brought you over and laid you very close to my face. They passed you to your Daddy and he held you there. My first memory of you is the softness of your face. I couldn't believe how soft it was. You still weren't crying. You had little bubbles coming out of your mouth and they didn't let you stay with me long.

You were taken away again and I was left to get sewn up. It was torture. I was desperate for information. Your Daddy went to the nursery with you. I was eventually taken to my recovery room. While the nurse assessed me, I asked when I could see you, when I could hold you, when I would know how you were. I was not ok. I have great difficulty even typing this because I experienced a deep, deep fear. Eventually, your Daddy arrived back in my room. He explained that you were taken to the NICU and you were on oxygen. It was assumed that you had some fluid in your lungs, because you were breathing too fast and your oxygen saturation level was below 80%. I sent your Daddy back to be with you and started asking my nurse when I could see you. She said I would have to stay in the room a while until I resumed some feeling in my legs, but that she would attempt to wheel my bed into the NICU after I was considered stable.

I was in some state of shock, I think. I just laid there, stared at everybody that came to the hospital to see you, and waited. After an eternity, they wheeled me to your bedside. I was not prepared. You had so many tubes and lines all over and inside of your little body. I am a nurse and still nothing could have prepared me. I begged to hold you. The nurse told me no, but she must have seen something in my eyes because she suddenly put you in my lap for about 10 seconds before taking you back. She then informed me that I would not be able to see you again until the next day because I would not be allowed to leave my bed due to the need to recover. I obeyed until 8pm that night. I told your Daddy I was going to the NICU to see you. Period. They couldn't stop me. So, he went and found us a wheelchair and I unhooked my IV fluids, my blood pressure cuff, pulse oximetry, SCD's, and picked up my catheter and made my way into that chair. We made it to the NICU and I sat in the chair by your side. They wouldn't let me hold you or feed you. You were receiving nutrition through IV fluids. I was so worried that you were hungry. I wasn't able to stay long because my nurse found me. She said that her nurse's aide told her I was a missing patient so she started looking for me. She lectured me a little, but it was totally worth it.

The next day we visited you as often as we could. They still wouldn't let us hold you and that was very, very hard to deal with. You had visitors, but they would only let parents and grandparents see you. The physician made rounds and informed us that if your oxygen saturation stayed high enough on room air through two feedings, he would let us have you in our room that night, starting at 8pm. That was great news! We went and visited you at 5pm. I told the nurse that I still hadn't held you or fed you. She said that was about to change and finally, finally you were placed in my arms. The feeling was surreal. You had an IV in your head and it just made you look like you were in pain. I asked them repeatedly to take it out, but they said they couldn't. We stayed as long as we could and were told that we couldn't visit from 6-8, but if you passed your oxygen test, we could come get you at 8pm and to check back then.

At 8pm, we got the wheelchair out and started out of our room. We were met by your nurse who said that you were free to room with us! That was the best news ever. I felt instant relief to finally be able to have you near me and to be able to take care of you myself. You still had an IV in your head and it kept falling in your face so your Daddy got some tape from one of the nurses and taped it up. He said it looked like you had a single dreadlock.

We enjoyed showing you off to visitors and we spent a lot of time begging you to eat as much as the doctors said you had to in order to be discharged. We were told that we would likely be released the next day and we were. We dressed you in the going home dress that we picked out, took a million pictures of you, and took you home. We couldn't wait to take you in your nursery and put you in your bassinet.

We had a hard time getting you to eat at first, but unlike at the hospital, I mostly let you set your own schedule and eat how much you feel you need. You don't like to sleep at night, but you sure sleep a lot during the day. You are bright eyed and have a funny little personality. You are already smiling and you pop your eyes open at the sound of your name. You refuse to sleep in your bassinet. You scream your little head off if we try to leave you in it. You like to sleep right by me, with your face glued to mine. You will occasionally sleep in your moses basket, if it's in the bed with us. But, you still wake up and cry to sleep with me every couple of hours. I try to let you and then return you to your basket as much as possible. You are already so spoiled. But, I don't care. I like to cuddle with you at night. You like to eat a couple ounces every two hours. You are a hard sleeper during the day or when you are in your car seat. No matter the loudness of noise, you will sleep away. You hate to take a bath and you hate for your cord stump to be cleaned. You don't like us to dress you and you fight as hard as possible while we are changing your diapers or dressing you. You are actually pretty strong for a two week old. You aren't overly obsessed with your paci, but you do like it. You make a noise that sounds like a goat when you are happy and content. You love to ride in the car and fall asleep almost immediately once you are put in your car seat. You are a very beautiful child and not just because you are mine. You have genuine beauty. You like to listen to your Daddy read to you and you like music. You have little monkey toes that make your feet look like hands.

You have a rare birthmark on the right side of your head. It's about the size of a half dollar and you are bald there, and you will never grow hair in that area. You have to see a dermatologist soon. From what we're told, you will have a high chance of developing melanoma after you hit puberty and they will want to remove it at that time. Your hair is already growing fast and covering the bald spot. You also have to undergo an ultrasound of your hips because you were breech. They will rule out hip dysplasia. Because of the position you were in, inside the womb, you like to sleep with your feet straight up in the air! It's the funniest thing!

You are absolutely perfect.

32 WEEKS

I started writing this blog last week when I was 31 weeks. I've been slow to get things posted. I'm going to post some pictures later, but wanted to post an update since it's been a while. Time seems to be going fast and slow at the same time. We are in the single digit countdown now. EIGHT weeks to go. Unbelievable. It really brings a sense of urgency to get things done. The nursery is almost complete. We are proud of it. I will post pictures once we add the final touches. I recently had to complete a 3 hour glucose challenge, because I failed my 1 hour challenge to test for gestational diabetes. I was allowed to do alternative carbohydrate loading as the glucola caused me to get dizzy, vomit, and have a very high heart rate. I was told that I could drink two 20 oz bottles of coke. I was NOT told that I had to consume both bottles in FIVE minutes. The lab guy waited until I had two minutes to go and only part of one bottle completed to inform me of this news. I was not a happy camper. I told him to cancel the test. I came back the next week and got to eat Skittles this time. This may sound easy, but it wasn't. I had to eat 4.2oz of Skittles in 15 minutes. Try it. It's hard. I almost ran out of time. I was shoving them in and had chipmunk cheeks at the end. I managed to get them down, except for the wad that I saved in my cheek and threw in the trash as soon as I left the lab. I then had to get my blood drawn every hour for 3 hours. It was pretty much torture. But, I passed the test with flying colors! Yay! No gestational diabetes. Aunt Regina, Kelli, and Mama had a baby shower for me. I was totally overwhelmed by the whole event. When Kelli was pregnant with Kaitlyn, I hid in the bathroom and cried the majority of the shower. Don't get me wrong. I was thrilled for Kelli. I was sad for myself, because I had already been trying for many years to get pregnant. So, when I walked into my own shower, I started bawling. Tears, snot, the works...classy. Not only was everything beautifully decorated, but seeing my family and friends there for ME did me in. I really appreciated people taking time out of their busy lives to be there. I still get teary eyed when I think about the people that showed up. Missing were both of my grandmothers. That makes me emotional as well. I wish they were here to see this precious baby. The shower was held at Murray's Grille in Yulee. Aunt Regina said she was disappointed in the food and even gave a small speech to make sure people knew what the unrecognizable stuff was. It was pretty funny. We spent a couple of days washing tiny clothes and organizing baby gear. That was overwhelming, as it provided a big sense of reality. I'm pretty much a big ball of emotions at the moment! I had two doctor's appointments on 8/7. The first was with the high risk specialist. Addison is doing great! She weighed 3lb 5oz. She has big, chubby cheeks and we love her so much already. We think she has an attitude because she gets mad if she's touched. She will either freeze or start doing somersaults to get away. It's been difficult for the doctor to find her heartbeat at times because she is trying to get away. She gets all that from her Daddy. Ha, ha. I was told at that appointment that I'd have to start attending NST's (heart rate testing) and Ultrasounds every Tuesday and Friday until I deliver. Phew! Tuesday's testing went ok. Addison kept wiggling away from the heart monitor but she passed the test. We got really good views of her face during the ultrasound. Its a BPP (biophysical profile) and she scored an 8/8. Today's testing didn't go quite as smoothly. They wanted Addison's heart rate to reach the 150's, but it stayed in the 130's. She failed her NST and we had to do another BPP (ultrasound) which she passed. The doctor said that some of the medicine I take to keep my heart rate controlled could be going to her, or she could have been just resting. They attempted to startle her by pressing a vibrating buzzer to my stomach. She could have cared less. The doctor brought up that my amniotic fluid is on the higher side (sigh). The US tech brought up that she has hair! She is so, so, so cute with her chubby cheeks and pouty lips. So, I am slightly concerned but trying not to totally freak out. We go again on Tuesday. Prayers that she will pass this time won't hurt! (I'll post pictures when I can.)

SNEAK PEEK-28 WEEKS

We had our 4D Ultrasound today. So, so, so sweet. I really can't believe she's mine. True to Addison form, she did not want to cooperate. I had to exit the room and walk the floors to shake her up a little bit. Overall, I am thrilled with the pictures we got. I am beyond impatient for her to get here now! We also got a video of her, but I will have to play around with this and see if I can figure out how to post it. Here she is!

27 WEEKS

Yes, I am starting to look like a manatee.

But, the good news is that I continue to have better days. Instead of 24/7 nausea, I have bouts of nausea. I'll take it. I am also getting out a lot more, which is great. So I'll take the largeness in exchange. Ok, I got the report from my doctor about the glucose test and the bloodwork. See...what had happened WAS...I might have drank some chocolate milk the morning of my test. What? They told me I didn't have to fast! So, the nurse called today and told me I failed the test and would have to do the 3 hour screening. I confessed about the milk and told her I wanted to repeat the one hour test,after fasting,to be sure. She agreed so I will do that Monday. It made me very sick and I had a hard time holding it down without fasting, so I'm not sure how I will manage Monday. Maybe I should bring a pillow and just lay on the floor of the lab. My iron level also came back low, so I started an iron supplement today. No biggie. The nurse said that this is probably the reason I have been so exhausted. Here is the bassinet we bought.

I love it! Yes, I know we can't have a blanket and a stuffed animnal in it while the baby is using it, but I decided to dress it up until she gets here. Kelli and I went to Pottery Barn to pick it up, and I almost had a pregnancy induced hormonal meltdown. Cliff called ahead of time to be sure the one I wanted was in stock. It was the brown bassinet, like we got, but with pink bedding. When we arrived, I was told that they didn't have the brown bassinet or the pink bedding. I really wanted to cry. It would've been a classy thing to have a 2 year old meltdown at the Pottery Barn. Cashier dude looked again and said he DID have the brown bassinet, but not the pink bedding, and I couldn't get it until September. I told him just to sell me the bassinet with all white bedding and I am happy enough with it. I think the bassinet has a timeless look to it and it's very well made. Look what Addison received in the mail today.

These took me back to when my grandmother, Magranny, read these very books to me and my cousins. My grandfather still has them in his house. I think I might be about to have another hormonal moment if I think about it too much! I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that we still have to buy for this child. It is insane. I was up last night with nausea and I just about drove my self crazy worrying about carseats, strollers, formula, etc, etc. I know it will eventually come together. At least she has a bed! I'll let y'all know how the second glucose screening goes...if I do it...just kidding, just kidding.

26 WEEKS

We had another ultrasound with the high risk specialist today and she is 100% a girl! Yay! We had to buy her some celebratory clothes.

Herein lies the problem with today's technology--it creates WORRY! When we were babies, our parents weren't even told the sex before delivery, much less things such as growth percentiles and amniotic fluid levels. With today's fancy, smancy technology, I was told that Addison is in the 41st percentile for growth and I have slightly too much amniotic fluid. Causes for excessive aminotic fluid are defects with the baby's swallowing mechanism, gestational diabetes, and unknown factors. I'm being tested tomorrow for gestational diabetes. If I don't have it, and I hope I don't, how am I supposed to deal with this information? Worry, that's how! I would have been better off not knowing. The doctor did say that he would rather me have too much, than too little and he seemed unphased. I, on the other hand, wanted more answers. She weighs 1 lb, 14 ounces. She kicks like she weighs 114 pounds! I can't believe she's that tiny and I am this huge. What in the world??? The doctor was also nonchalant about her being in the 41st percentile, informing me that I didn't want to give birth to a big baby. No, I don't. But, I would feel more comfortable if she was at least average! My appetite has increased and I am hungry about every two hours, to the point that I feel like I'm going to starve to death. I have put on about 7 pounds....finally. So, I am feeding her. I've always pictured her as tiny. Maybe she's just supposed to be smaller than normal. We had a rude ultrasound tech today so we didn't get to see very much of Addison herself. She did confirm that she was still a girl and that was a huge relief. We've already purchased so much pink that people might think her nursery is Pepto Bismol themed. Both of my parents got to watch the ultrasound today. Then we all went to Babies R Us to look for a bassinet and finish registering. Grandpa bought her these shoes and a baby book.

Tomorrow, Kelli and I will travel to Jacksonville once again so that I can get some bloodwork and drink the dreaded sugar water for the glucose tolerance test. It is SO gross. I'm not sure how I will keep from throwing it up. I have been having better days lately. I am still usually at least always sick in the mornings and I am VERY tired, but I have been able to get out more and some days I even feel human. I am continuing to get quite large and have to learn new maneuvers for simple things. I am considering a new technique for getting out of bed. It's called the roll and fall. Roll off the mattress, land on my knees, and then crawl around the house because I sure can't get up off the floor. In other news, I would like to wish my youngest niece, Emily Lorraine, a very happy 5th birthday! Aunt Cindy wishes you were still this little...

6 MONTHS

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Things are progressing along. I’m getting larger by the second. I’m starting to feel Addison kick more and more. I remain sick. My newest complaint is an overwhelming desire to sleep, sleep, sleep. I am always uncomfortably exhausted. I know I don't eat right, but this is craziness. What happened to that second trimester energy burst I heard all about? Ugh!

Work continues to be a challenge, as it seems that’s where I do most of my vomiting these days. I have only gained 2.5 pounds since conception. Heartburn is also an issue, but I received some good advice from other women to try Zantac and it has helped considerably. Other pregnant women around my stage of pregnancy complain of extremity swelling, hip pain, and back pain. I am thankful that I have no issues with any of those symptoms yet. I do get headaches, but I’ll take those over back pain. I have been sick since January, and Cliff has taken care of me since that time. He has kept up with the household chores, including laundry. He is working two jobs. He makes sure Landen gets to school or day care on time and gets picked up. He makes sure Landen and I are fed. This has been his biggest challenge, because I most often refuse to eat. He still tries. He still puts some kind of food in front of me as often as he can. He has listened to daily complaints from me, and I haven’t heard him complain even once. I don’t know where he finds time to get things done, but he does. I can mention something little, such as needing a towel hook in the bathroom. He wont say anything, and I’ll notice that I have a new towel hook the next day. Today, he came home between jobs and installed a ceiling fan, then listened to me say “no” to every meal he offered, and then he cooked something anyway before he went to his second job. I am blessed to have someone who has supported me through a very difficult time. We recently went to our 20 year class reunion. Here I am on the way out the door.

Now, if anyone would have told either Cliff or myself that we would be attending our 20 year class reunion, with me carrying his child, we would have laughed and told you to go back on your meds. We were recently trying to remember how things came to be. Neither of us could. We aren’t sure how in the world we ended up becoming parents together after all these years. We agree that Addison has a purpose here on this earth and we believe we were brought together for that reason. We had a great time at the reunion and enjoyed catching up with friends who are like family to us. Addison even got to take part, as she received beach toys and Princess on Board vehicle window signs. I’m sure our classmates are also perplexed by Cliff and I. We can’t explain it. We are obviously not in control. We have had an absolute blast shopping for pink, girly stuff. I’ve already purchased her Halloween costume (a surprise), and Cliff bought her this bracelet.

She’s going to be such a diva! We finally reached a decision on bedding. Here it is.

We registered at Babies R Us (babiesrus.com), under Cindy Vandervort (Yulee, FL) or registry number 48466125. Now, that was a challenge. Neither of us had any idea of what we were doing. There are SO many decisions to be made. We did the best we could. Poor Addison. My cousin, Carrie, has recently offered to give us several items that her twins have outgrown. We are very thankful for that. I know everything will come together, but my controlling personality makes it difficult for me to relax. I want things done and organized now, even though we still have 15 weeks to go. I am trying to get out more, but it is so difficult for me. I would rather stay home, and on my couch when I am not working. I’ve been off for the last two days and I’ve done nothing but sleep. It’s a miserable existence. I’ve been to the beach a couple times recently. The first trip, you can see by the picture that I was pretty miserable.

I did better on the second trip, which was at night with my nieces.

And Cliff, Landen, and I made a day trip last weekend. I did even better then. I hate that I’ve had such a difficult pregnancy and have complained so much. I know that Addison will be more than worth every symptom. I want to put this bible verse somewhere in her nursery. I believe it is quite fitting.

My next ultrasound is on 7/10. I have a fear that they will say she has turned into a he! I’m really worried about it, and Cliff makes fun of me. I recently had to do a bunch of (unnecessary) testing, related to my sinus tachycardia. Everything came back normal, except for a borderline low TSH (thyroid) level. They will watch it. I was a really bad patient and was over a month late in getting all the testing completed. One of the tests included saving urine for 24 hours. That was Cliff’s favorite part. It was quite disgusting. I enrolled Addison in a Dr. Seuss book club. Cliff and I both love to read, so I hope that she will too. I have figured out that she is a night owl like Cliff. She likes to do karate at night while I’m trying to sleep. I wonder if she will be grouchy like me in the mornings or calm and laid back like Cliff. I feel that she will have most of Cliff’s physical features, due to the Asian gene. We want to have a 4D ultrasound once I’m further along. That will allow us to get a broad idea of her physical characteristics. I can’t wait. I'm thinking of scheduling it at 30 weeks, which will be the first week in August. My current craving is chocolate milk. I remember that I thought I would never, ever drink chocolate milk again, as the mere thought of it would make me gag. Now, I love it. I also crave most fruit. Cliff and I can eat an entire cantaloupe in one sitting. Other than that, I can’t think of any real cravings. I don’t have the pregnancy glow either. I look like a sick version of Casper really. I know this is related to the months and months of sickness. I look very scary on my days off, because brushing my hair is just not important anymore. It barely gets done on the days I have to work. My co-workers continue to be very helpful and do all of my lifting and squatting. I can no longer get back up once I have squatted down! One or two of the nurses have offered to do things that they know would make me gag, such as emptying colostomy bags or collecting sputum samples. That means a lot to me. I can make it 15 more weeks. I think I can, I think I can...

18/19 WEEKS-BOY OR GIRL?

For my non-facebook friends and family...we now know the gender of this baby! Although the baby got very shy and did not want us to find out right away. Here is a picture of him or her covering their little face.

Here is a picture of a tiny foot.

My youngest niece Emily got to witness the live reveal. Here she is with Cliff at the doctor's office.

It's a...

GIRL!!!!!!! A beautiful little girl! And her name is...

Addison Raine McClanathan. My middle name is Lorraine. Emily has my middle name and Addison has a shortened version of it. I felt that the first baby I lost was a little girl. I felt it from the time I knew I was pregnant. I named her Isabella Raine, so the name Raine is special to me. I wanted her first name to be a unisex name. People might prefer to call her Addi for short and that's ok with us. We are THRILLED that she is a girl. Aunt Kelli also came to the reveal.

We were shopping in the hospital gift shop before the appointment. I saw a little ruffled outfit and I knew deep down that I was going to be a little disappointed if it was a boy. I couldn't see myself not buying pink, bows, ruffles, and pearls! We have already bought her a few outfits and my parents have bought some as well. She's quite the princess already.

Ignore the Kotex on the top shelf, as my mother would like me to be prepared after the birth. LOL. I'm sure I'll do the same for Addison one day. See the two outfits on the far left? Those are boy outfits that we bought when I first found out I was pregnant. I'll donate them to someone. Emily helped pick out a toy for Addison after the appointment.

She also got to surprise Granny and Grandpa by having them shut their eyes and then laying pink outfits in their laps.

She is a very healthy baby, currently measuring right at the 50th percentile. She weighs 10 ounces. Her Mama is still very sick and still in the negative on the weight gain. I was told to eat high calorie/high fat foods. Psh. If I could, I would. Grr...doctors. We can now focus on decorating the nursery! I'm leaning towards a pink and green scheme. Something similiar to this.

I break down when I see pictures of nurseries before the baby has arrived and then pictures of the baby in the nursery. It kills me! I will probably fall out when I get to put Addison in her little nursery for the first time! She will know her Mama is crazy right then and there. LOL! I'm also currently obsessed with finding her an outfit to come home in!

I'm getting to be huge! I have a lot of difficulty standing after a squatting position at work and I'm a very grouchy and whiny sleeper now. I can't get comfortable and I'm looking for one of those pillows they make for pregnant women. My only other complaint is the extreme nausea, all day/every day, and the vomiting. Not cool. I am also a BIG fan of tums now.

We went to see the movie, What to Expect When You're Expecting. There is a character named Wendy. SHE IS ME! Totally me. In short, it took a while for her to get pregnant and that's all she wanted. After she got pregnant, she began to understand that it's not all smiles for every woman. It's a good movie. I hope that the next 4.5 months fly by. I feel like I've been pregnant for a decade. But, I know she'll be worth it. This is my song to Addison. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-Xpt1SxDJw