WISDOM WITH AGE

Today I am 33. Tomorrow I will be 34. Kind of upsetting since I was finally starting to remember how old I was when people asked. Now, I’ll be like, “I think I’m 32 or maybe 36, something like that.” I have seriously had to ask Will in the past how old I was if I needed a quick answer. I’m not even kidding. That is sad.

I’d like to think I am another year wiser and not think about the degeneration of my physical being. However, one certainly begins noticing changes at around the age of 30 and they just keep going from there. Oh well, as they say, age is just a number right?

I will try and reflect on 10 things I have learned from the ages of 0-33. I hope to learn more the older I get.

10. Even if I check my weight 3 times in a row and kick and call the scale names in between each check, the number will still be the same.

9. Laughing at inappropriate times, such as during a group meditation class, will always be a flaw of mine.

8. I have an above average sense of smell and it is not always a good thing.

7. No matter how many times I try pizza, it will always taste like wet bread, grease, and vomit to me and people telling me I am crazy for not liking it will not change that.

6. Some birds can talk and will tell me that the creepy crawler is coming and that they are going to Wal-Mart and Florida for 40 days.

5. The sun really does cause wrinkles and age spots and baby oil and iodine, used during teen years, make them worse. Who knew?

4. I know that PMS is real…very real…and can be used as a weapon.

3. I will always have air headed moments, even if I hate them. And by the way, gas with an octane level of 89 does not mean it was created in 1989. (don’t ask)

2. I will never be a morning person and will always cringe a little at those that are. I think when people start smiling the second their eyes open they should be evaluated by a psychiatrist.

1. Although he will never admit it, I have learned that my husband will always love football, the dog, and Heather Locklear a little more than he does me.

COMMERCIALS

I really hate commercials. I am one of those people that channel surfs during them. They are such a waste of airtime.

But, Sonic commercials really crack me up! My favorite one is with the two ladies who eat their ice-cream and want to order another one, but they are too embarassed. So one of them decides to try and talk like a man to disguise her voice and she starts practicing in a low tone.

To make it more convincing, she puts her finger abover her lip to be her "mustache" and then her friend tells her that the mustache helps. I never tire of it.

Think of me laughing with you next time you see it!

I DIDN'T MEAN TO, HONEST!

On my way home from school today, I noticed a state trooper behind me. I did what every person would do and slowed down to the exact speed limit. We stopped at a red light and I noticed he was still right behind me. After that, my memory is blurred because the next thing I knew he had his blue lights on.

I got over in the right lane and wondered who he caught for speeding and how he knew they were speeding since he couldn't really see around me. But, he didn't go around me. He followed me! I pulled over, but still doubted it was me he was after.

He came to the window and the first thing he did was ask me why I have a Gamecock steering wheel cover but have a Clemson hitch cover. I mumbled something about going to USC and then just stared at him like he had lost his mind. I couldn't even figure out how to explain the Clemson hitch cover because I was in some kind of shock.

Then he asked me why I was in such a hurry. I mumbled something about being in class for 5 hours and I must have been thining about the lecture material, but didn't really know. Duh! It was then that he told me I "took off from the redlight at 58 miles an hour in a 45 mile per hour zone."

Ok, first of all I don't even think that is possible. I love my Jeep but I am pretty confident that it doesn't do 0-58 in 5 seconds. I started babbling that I knew he was behind me and I was trying to stay at the exact speed limit. He gave me a look and then I realized how that sounded! Then, I grabbed his hand on instint and said, "No, no, no! I didn't mean to imply that I wouldn't have been watching my speed if you weren't behind me!"

Just for the record, I think it is a really dumb move to grab a state troopers hand. I am pretty sure they don't like people touching them. But, he just said ok and then went to research my record. I got a speeding ticket a few months ago that I kind of deserved, but that's another story. So, I figured that I would get another ticket for sure.

When he handed me a warning, I started babbling again about not meaning to speed! I don't know why I thought I needed to add more detail since he had already let me off with a warning! I don't know what was wrong with me. I guess I was just in shock about the whole deal. One thing I learned is that I can go from calm and collected to total babbling idiot in 5 seconds flat!

WILLIS JAMMIN' OUT

He is still a bit scared of the camera, but I was trying to do this funky white girl dance to keep him going. Perhaps seeing me doing that would have been even funnier than this video! Ha! I think Willis will forget about the camera soon and I will be able to post more video of him. He keeps us laughing around here!