ROLE REVERSAL--NURSE TO PATIENT

Sunday, I found myself in the fetal position on my bedroom floor with severe abdominal pain. I made the death crawl to the bathroom where I assumed the sitting on the toilet while holding the trashcan position. After gallons of pretty stuff being added to the trash can, and even prettier added to the toilet, I crawled back to my bed.

Repeats of the scenario continued to play out and at 3am when I woke up in severe pain, I decided it was ER time.

For me to go the ER, I must feel like I am literally dying. I do not like doctors. I do not like to take medicine. I do not like green eggs and ham.

Long story short—a hospital gown with a broken tie in the back, morphine, phenergan, an argument with the nurse that no she would NOT be putting a foley catheter in me no matter how much she thought I needed one, 2 large cups of contrast, and a CT scan later, I was diagnosed with colitis.

I was given 5 different medicatons. I had to see my regular doctor today where it was determined that I was allergic to one of the meds since my face looked like an Oompa Loompa. A 6th medicine was added to fight the allergic reaction and then a 7th one to replace the one that I am allergic to. I have enough medications in my system to kill a horse.

But, let me tell y'all the whole reason I wrote this blog! Remember paragraph one where I was referring to the trash can? Well, that particular trash can was filled with a couple of gallons of….stomach contents. Will, the official throw up cleaner upper, emptied it into a bag and then added it to the big trash can in the garage.

Today he took all of our trash to the dump. He tossed all of it in the big dumpster and got back in the Jeep. He went to buckle his seatbelt and noticed something strange…his entire shirt was covered in throw up!!!! Apparently, the bag that held those special contents leaked on his shirt when he went to throw the bag. Of course, I found that hilarious and really haven't stopped laughing about it since!

In the spirit of Christmas, I just thought I would share this very beautiful story. I hope you enjoyed it.