LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF A BIRD

This is our dog Bailey. He is mad because Willis gets so much attention on my blog and he does not. For one thing, he said he wants everyone to know that he is a track star and can run faster than a speeding bullet. That is why he got a letterman jacket. He said that he can also jump hurdles and not to think he can't just because his legs are only one inch long. He said he just doesn't feel like doing it, but he could if he wanted to.

Secondly, he would like for everyone to know what I did to his toenail. He is very upset and insulted about it. I don't know when/if he will forgive me. Here's what happened--

I was studying in my office and Bailey was lying behind my office chair wrapped in a blanket. I didn't even know he was back there. I pushed the chair backward and heard what sounded like a pig about to be caught for butcher. I mean, he was squealing at the top of his lungs.

I wasn't sure what was happening and it took me a second to realize that I was on top of him! I scooped him up and he was pitiful. But I was worse off than he was! I cried and just felt absolutely terrible.

I checked him out and he was fine…no bleeding, no apparent injury. A couple of hours later Will got home. I was still in my office and he walked up and showed me this long black thing he found on the floor. It looked like a long shark's tooth. Then I realized….it was one of Bailey's toenails!!! I had apparently severed it with my office chair.

I got upset all over again because that had to have been incredibly painful for him to lose a toenail that way. But, he is fine…no bleeding, no infection…and I have learned to be extra careful when I get up from my desk.

Bailey feels better knowing that everyone now understands how abused and neglected he is. He does not care that he gets clothes bought for him in the winter, has a never ending supply of food, at least 50 toys, his own blankets, and his own jar of treats. He feels very much neglected and doesn't appreciate having his toenail chopped off for no good reason and doesn't understand why Willis gets all the attention AND gets to keep all of his toenails.

LAUGH OF THE DAY

This is funny. I can't stop laughing. We have a very large tv so everything on it looks huge and Willis can see the tv from his cage. A little while ago, he was playing very happily with a red block and watching tv when a very large bird appeared on the screen. It scared him so bad he fell off his perch! Normally when he falls he laughs at himself and says, "Oh Willis..." But, not this time. He is mad! He is sitting over there pouting with his feathers out around his beak and it is FUNNY! He isn't hurt physically or anything...just his pride. I can't stop laughing at him and he does not like it! :-)

HOW EMBARRASSING

Remember as a kid accidentally forgetting to zip your zipper after bathroom trips? Remember how embarrassing it was? Ok, I think that it is even more embarrassing as an adult.

I recently walked in a big mall for 45 minutes to an hour with my zipper all the way down. The mistake apparently happened when I was trying on a pair of pants and had a brain lapse.

I'm not talking about it just being down. I'm talking about it being wide open...wide open. I realized this when I walked into a department store bathroom that had a full length mirror and saw a flash of hot pink radiating out of my jeans. I couldn't be wearing black underwear that day where it wouldn't have been so noticeable. No, I had to wear the eye blinding hot pink ones!

It was like, "Everyone, I want you to see my underwear. I love them so much. Look, look." That was the first time I've done that since I was a kid, I believe. I was so mortified. But, since I have a warped since of humor I thought it was hilarious too and immediately sent Will a text message telling him all about it.

I know that tons of people noticed it was down, but didn't have the heart to fill me in. At least I gave them, and myself, a good laugh!

FUNDAMENTAL

Has anyone noticed the complete overuse of the word "fundamental" by both of our presidential candidates? They both used it over and over during both debates. It got so bad that I told Will I was going to vote for whoever said it the least amount of times. Obviously, I was kidding. But, seriously, I have a fundamental difference of opinion regarding both candidates abuse of the word. I hope they stop using it. If not, I feel it could be a real fundamental problem when everyone loses their sanity after hearing the word repeated too many times.

FIREPROOF

I want to recommend that all of you go see the movie Fireproof. I read about it on the internet and talked Will into going to see it with me yesterday. It is a Christian movie about faith and marriage. The theatre was packed and there was not a single dry eye in the house when it was over. Take lots of Kleenex! The acting is not very good, but the message behind the movie is overwhelmingly good. Go see it....asap!!!